down and out, with cookies [james]

[Sirius Black]

Sirius was half torn between anger and confusion, but anger was quickly winning. He had been in the kitchens only 5 minutes, but already he had snapped quite unnecessarily at three house elves, and now they were all busy working, peeking back at him nervously every so often. He winced and ran a hand through his dark locks of hair. Being cruel to a house elf was like kicking a puppy, or Peter. All they wanted to do was please people, and here he was being an ass. It’s just, Sirius wasn’t so great when things didn’t go his way.

That Marlene McKinnon had stood him up!

No one stands up Sirius Black! That’s his job!

Er, not that he was going to stand up Marlene. He had made an effort to show up early, even! She was fit, and an older woman, and had the James seal of approval, so he had put in a bit more effort than usual. Then he’d waited around the entrance hall for twenty minutes and she hadn’t shown, not even a note by owl! Sirius couldn’t exactly go crawling back to the common room, then the others would know he’d been stood up, and Sirius didn’t feel like listening to them talk about it. Usually Sirius dates took, oh, hours. Longer if he got them to a broom closet. He liked to put on a show, sneak into Hogsmeade for food and butterbeer and hide it somewhere, like an empty classroom, or that old professor’s lounge on the fifth floor that no one used anymore.

Sirius would just have to spend those hours sitting around the kitchens, eating cookies and left over food from dinner. His pride wouldn’t allow him to do anything else! Luckily for him, the house elves always had cookies!

Marlene McKinnon clearly didn’t know what she was missing. After this, he’d go snog a Ravenclaw to forget about her!

[James Potter]

James was not a stalker. Let’s start with that. He was simply looking at the Marauder’s Map because he had to ask Lily a question about, er, Transfiguration. No, he was brilliant in Transfiguration. Potions, then. She was one of the best Potions students in their year. That was a better excuse. OK, so, James was looking at the Marauder’s Map for Lily to ask her about their Potions assignment because he was going to work on it in advance or something like that. She might believe that, right?

While searching the map for his red-headed beauty, James came across something very odd. It was Sirius in the Kitchens. Now, Sirius in the Kitchens is not so odd without context. James knew that his best mate was on a date with the lovely Marlene McKinnon and yet, she was nowhere in sight. James figured the worst, which to him was that the date had been a bust (never would he imagine Sirius would be stood up. It was Sirius!). Like the sympathetic best mate he was, he cleared off the map with a quick “Mischief managed.” and set about to join his friend, who probably would need some cheering up. Or alcohol. Maybe both. Probably both.

Surprisingly, James did not run into friend or foe on his journey to the Kitchens, which was good because he was focused on helping Sirius. It was also convenient that he was extraordinarily hungry, so basically, Sirius was in the right place at the right time. As soon as he got through the portrait, he looked around before spotting Sirius. He tried to smile sympathetically at his friend, but it was not a look he was used to and he probably looked like he was teasing Sirius, “Boring, was she?” James asked, before noting the house elves around him looked scared. House elves never looked scared around James and Sirius. They loved James and Sirius. Something was very wrong with this picture. He figured he would get the whole story soon, so to prepare for it, he grabbed a handful of cookies from the plate they left on a nearby table. Apparently if they left the food somewhere easily accessible, Sirius would not have to ask for it, and that meant less talking between the parties. Something indeed was strange.