Post by severussnape on Feb 6, 2012 20:32:33 GMT
Severus Tobias Snape
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celeb look alike: Lou Taylor Pucci
character's full name:[/color][/b] Severus: A name derived from Latin, taking the meaning 'stern.'
Tobias: Tobias is a Hebrew name, meaning 'God is good.'
Snape: A name given to a few towns in England, is the simplest meaning behind his name; it is also a verb, meaning 'to be hard upon, rebuke, snub.'
nicknames:[/color][/b] He has been given nicknames in the past, Sev and Snape being the most acceptable, along with many he does not approve of. This includes a particularly distasteful nickname given to him by James Potter and the likes of him, Snivellus. He is entirely willing to hex any and all persons who refer to him by this name, as long as the possibility that, in the event the person retaliates, he can easily defeat them is present.
age:[/color][/b] January 9th, 1960.
year:[/color][/b] 5th.
house:[/color][/b] Slytherin.
code word:[/color][/b] 'Petunia'
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[/color][/b] [/blockquote][/blockquote]in-depth appearance:
[/color][/b] Unknown to most Severus is a cold calculating genius, a trait that he hides well beneath an expressionless mask. He is blunt and comes off as uncaring and careless in nature to most acquiantances. During his school years excelled in all of his classes, usually going above and beyond devising techniques to rearrange spells and recipes for potions. His ambition springs from the fact that he feels as if he is out to prove something - that he is just as good or even better than most Purebloods. Being Half-blooded is both Severus's greatest short coming but also his biggest accomplishment. He takes pride in being half-blooded referring to himself as the "Half-Blood Prince" in the security of his own thoughts. It isn't commonly known that Severus is halfblooded, it isn't a fact that he discloses to most people. His blood status which he views as a driving force behind all of his work is something that he knew could potentially harm his reputation as a part of Slytherin house. This is one of the reasons why little is known about his bloodlines, to most it is clear that his name is not that of a renowned pureblood family, but no one questions him. In this sense Sev has not allowed his bloodlines to drag him down, especially after having been placed in Slytherin house, the house that his mother and all her pureblooded Prince descendants had been in before him. After having been accepted into Slytherin house Severus was able to live up to the family name, but of course that had not been enough for his blood elitest grandparents. Since they are always pushing for more because he knows that he will never be good enough in their eyes, Severus always seems willing enough to take up more work then necessary. More often then not he is the group leader in all the group projects that he is assigned to, as well as the sole participator in the said project because he just feels like he needs to do all the work. Working to the utmost highest standards Severus is a certain kind of perfectionist that is not readily seen in Slytherin house. Despite this perfectionist attitude Severus is not outwardly seen as such because he often keeps to himself about it. Most know little about his perfect marks in all of his classes or even his tendency to take his work a little to seriously. On occasion Severus is also known to take things to seriously as well as his work, which is not always a positive thing, especially when others are teasing him.in-depth personality:
By far his greatest visible weakness is his father, a muggle, and an alcoholic, two traits that make him rather undesirable in Severus's eyes. Severus harbors a deep hatred for his Father, after enduring years of torture both physical and psychological Severus no longer feels any pity towards him. For a long time, Severus allowed his father to have power over him just because he thought that the man meant well. Throughout the years, Severus thought that he was suffering at the hands of his father for a reason, because he was trying to teach him something. Then there would always be that same false dead hope that this argument would be the last and things between his father and mother would be set right again. Never having been much of a protector Severus was quick to change that about himself as soon as he realized that his mother was taking most of the fall out in the arguments. Soon it became rather clear that his father was not trying to teach him anything, nor did he even seem to care how things would turn out. Shortly after his ninth birthday Severus found out his father's true feelings of hatred for him and his mother. Why the man remained was still a mystery to Severus, even to this day. As the complexity of the situation grew so did Severus's bitter feelings for the man, he had known only a certain short of twisted hatred, not to mention rejection. Tobias never really was able to accept the fact that Severus was going to be going to Hogwarts that he was a wizard and that Eileen was a witch. No magic was ever used in their house and Severus never even saw his mother draw her wand, not once, not even to use against his father when he got out of hand. After Severus begun attending Hogwarts he found it very hard not to use his wand against his father, especially when Tobias was in a bad mood. Having slipped only once Severus has since then resisted the temptation to do such a stupid thing. Since his father is a muggle by birth he has deluded the asset of purebloodedness that Severus has sought to inherit and live up too since than. For this Severus has never forgiven his father, even to this day he still holds a grudge against him and is not willing to let it go. Notorious for holding a grudge Severus will stop at nothing to get revenge, but in this case since he can't very well hurt his muggle father -- at least not with his wand he has not even attempted it yet. His father holds a high priority on Severus's own hitlist, he is the scum of the earth, lower then dirt in Severus's eyes, yet he no longer fears the man. Shortly after gaining rudimentary knowledge of the Dark Arts at a younger age Severus realized that there were worst things in the world then his father and his doings. His father was a different kind of evil, a more human evil that could be likely be defeated in the flick of a wand.
Although Severus harbors little feelings for his mother, he has a tendency to blame the situation on her once and a while, her being the main reason why things turned out as they did. Sometimes he also allows her to foot the blame for the dysfunctional nature of their 'family.' He blames her because she chose "him" over everyone else. In his earlier years it was common for Severus to try to throw himself in front of his mother to block his father's punches, it is still something that he does tot his day. Despite her mistake in choosing Tobias over any other muggle Severus does not think that she deserves to get hurt -- even if he does dislike her. Her bloodlines still run pure, but in no way does he believe that she is above him, in fact it is almost bluntly obvious that she is where all his intelligence came from. Back in the day it was said that Eileen Prince was as smart if not smarter then most of the Ravenclaws at Hogwarts. Aside from the quiet details of the wizarding world and Hogwarts that Eileen has imparted to her son Severus knows little about his mother's own past. He has been to visit his grandparents a few times and has developed a strong hatred for them as well as the vast majority of his family. The reason why his mother married Tobias Snape when she could have married a pureblood wizard is still a mystery to Severus.
School life was no better for Severus, he was commonly the butt of every single joke. It wasn't uncommon for Severus to fight back, the fights in question usually resulted in a throw-back of curses and it sometimes even got physical. The taunting and torments that he had to succumb to during his school years only caused a deeper hatred to nest inside him. Especially for James Potter's small group of friends - the same group that would never leave him alone. The same group of people that almost got him killed. Severus will hold a lasting grudge against anyone that dares to do him any sort of minor or major injustice. He is known for his short patience and has a tendency to snap at even those he considers friends. Years of verbal abuse from others has finally allowed him to snap, it has eaten away at the top layers of his personality that had once kept him calm. Now Severus can barely keep control of himself when the moment comes to fight or flee, usually he decides to sit his ground. Severus has stubborn tendencies that sometimes result in his own downfall, since he will not easily sway or bend to the conformed opinions of others he is seen as strange. Most have seen this stubborn side of him and are not always that quick to disagree when he has his mind set on something. Severus is rather opinionated, but since he is rather well versed on all of the topics on which he speaks he can get away with it.
Although people speak bad about him, Severus barely seems harmed by their words now. Since the abuse has gone on so long he has developed a method with which to block it out. But that doesn't mean that he hasn't completely given up throwing back the occasional dim-witted insult. It is apparent that Severus tries his best when it comes to verbally outsmarting those who still try and bully him. Lately he has been stuck on trying to settle things with his wand. In spite of his rather bad reputation, few still want to stick around after he draws his wand because it is still widely known that he has a few curses up his sleeve. Seldom does Severus ever use a curse or spell that he has invented out loud these days, especially since the marauders stole his latest creation last year when he made the mistake of shouting it out loud. For fear of losing his work to others Severus rarely shares his ideas with anyone, academic ideas in particular. He fears that his spells will fall into his enemies hands now so that they will be used against him rather then for him.
Unpredictable as always, Severus has never been willing to let more then one person in completely at a time. Lily Evans has been the exception to the rule of course, for she counts as one of his few friends that knows his life's story. When he does befriend someone Severus is never really known to confide completely in them, only bits and pieces of his life are revealed. Yet despite this Severus himself makes a good confident and a few people have been known to seek him out as such. Even though he is not good at giving advice for all he knows is revenge and the bland desire for redemption he is a good listener. For this reason he has gained the allegiance of a few just because he is as willing to keep a secret as the next person. All his judgmental characteristics aside Severus can be seen in a lighter mood occasionally, especially after just having spent time around Lily Evans. Feeling the need to speak very little to those that he is not entirely trusting of, Severus has kept this habit of listening in tact. It is not rare to see him trudging through the corridors picking up on every little rumor or piece of gossip if almost by accident.
Scheming, sarcastic, and sardonic are only a few words to really describe Severus, but this is the side of him that has been more exposed to the light then all the others. Most of his peers have experienced it oh so many times due to the fact that he is always on the defensive when it comes to James Potter and the marauders. Not to mention the small factor that he has a reputation to protect somewhere in between all the conflicts that have arisen. There is a lot more to Severus then his sarcastic nature and his biting personality although the reasons for these traits really do help compose the whole. When he is in good company [ie: Lily Evans] his mood is much lighter and his remarks are more cheerful. She really brings out his optimistic side, although he is also still rather protective of her. He lets his guard down around her and he finds that he can truly be himself when she is at his side. All the confidence in the world is suddenly piled on to him and he can see things a lot more clearly. Lily gives him a certain light that he does not seem to possess when he is without her, he seems a lot more animated and willing to speak with people. These traits are not seen when he is in the company of his Slytherin cronies or the small crowd of Slytherins that he has been known to run with. In fact when he is put in any other situation Severus seems to lack that same cheerful animation that he has mastered in Lily's presence. Many do not realize the double sided nature of his personality and mistake him for another bitter yet wildly mature Slytherin.
Having had to mature much faster then half the children his age, Severus learned to take care of himself from an early age. Even now he still holds down that same mature disposition while in class or out of it. Most think that he's just being arrogant, but in truth it is just the way he acts. Severus's blind sense of confidence when it comes to spells, curses, and any sort of school work has not helped his image any. Possessing a few arrogant qualities few can see what Severus prides himself for because few know about his great achievements. Recently Severus still founds himself the ever-present outcast, but he is beginning to grow more accepting of his role now. He is the type of person that one has to just accept or leave, because he isn't planning on changing anytime soon.[/blockquote][/blockquote]
[/color][/b] research, Slytherins, Lily Evans, complicated puzzles, silence, dueling, dark arts, curses, dark colors, being accepted, keeping secrets, his own abilities, being clever, being alone, the library, books, power & influence over people, being manipulative, sarcasm [ on his part ], occlumency, legilimency, secretly calling himself the 'Halfblood Prince', being called Sev [ but only by Lily ], being Halfblood [ for he is that much closer to being muggleborn like Lily Evans ] [/blockquote][/blockquote]likes:
[/color][/b] trusting people, Gryffindors, being outsmarted, being underestimated, being an outcast, being everyone's scapegoat, his father, idiots, James Potter & Co., being called stupid, being called Snivellius, rumours, having people tell him to use shampoo, having bars of soap thrown at him, anyone trying to defy him, failing tests, loud noises, detention, complete muggle eradication [ but only considering Lily ], his appearance, peanut butter[/blockquote][/blockquote]dislikes:
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boggart:[/color][/b] This would probably have to be his father.
patronus:[/color][/b] Doe, as Severus's happiest memory is the day he met Lily. His patronus is the same as Lily's due to how much he loves her.
mirror of erised:[/color][/b] Himself as a Death Eater, with Lily Evans at his side. Maybe with the beaten, broken, and bruised dead body of his father lying before him, his mother standing behind him and Lily with a smile on her face.
wand:[/color][/b] 10.5" Willow, Dragon Heartstring
It is always on his possession, no matter where he is - at breakfast, supper, alone in his dorm room, creating a potion, or even alone in his home, he must always have it on his person. He feels naked without his wand, unsafe, and antsy.
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[/color][/b] Half-blood.[/blockquote][/blockquote]blood status:
[/color][/b] Eileen [Prince] Snape, forty seven, housewife, SLYTHERINparents:
Tobias Snape, forty nine, factory worker, muggle.[/blockquote][/blockquote]
[/color][/b] N/A[/blockquote][/blockquote]siblings:
[/color][/b] Spinner's End, London. [/blockquote][/blockquote]current residence:
[/color][/b] The woe-begotten life of Severus Snape begun on a cold January day, during what some might classify as the "near dead of winter." It was said to be the "second" worst day in the history of the Prince family lines, because it was the day that their blood was diluted. The purest lines that had run for centuries were now tainted and the world that Eileen Prince had known of tarnished silver spoons and yellowing table clothes - a world of lavish and luxery - would fall forever from it's pedistool. Born in a small town just outside of London, it wasn't long before the word got out. It was said that after a long and meticulously kept line of pureblooded tradition, Eileen Prince married a muggle. This ultimately would lead to the widespread disapproval of both her family and the majority of her friends. At the time she thought that she was in love, but it was only later that she found out that she had been terribly wrong. She married for love and that was all that mattered, that was what she had to keep reminding herself as her mother and her father insisted that she hold her head lower than the rest of them because it took a special type of pureblood to 'love' a muggle.in depth history:
It all begun one bright autumn day, when the summer sun hadn't disappeared long behind the cloud cover of the approaching winter. A young woman with long sleek black hair had been walking down the street, her strut spoke of high breeding and the pampering of an upper class upbringing. Her face was not yet lined and her pale skin gleamed in the sunlight of the day, she did not yet hold that ghastly glow to her that she would soon gain in old age. She was young, she was pretty, yet somehow she looked frail treading lightly on the sidewalk as if one misstep would shatter her whole being. Black eyes glittered vibrantly in their sockets as she peered around the populated street. She walked with such purpose and arrogance that even to this day it is a surprise that he had the guts to approach her - HER, the beauty that had taken that small misstep in the street that bright autumn day. It had all happened simultaneously. The scruffy looking, but rather clean-cut, laborer had been skipping across the paved sidewalks, no doubt on his way to the pub for an afternoon drink, when he encountered that same woman. At first glance the black eyes were entrancing, they held his own hazel green gaze like some sort of intoxicating poison. Years later he would admit to the moment as having been 'witched' into the whole thing. Yes, there were spells and potions that helped the onslaught of love, but neither had been employed that day by a younger Eileen Prince. It had been the workings of fate that had trapped them into such mortal doom at that precise moment. Seconds later the fall had come, Eileen had tripped over a stray pebble pushed in front of her, perhaps by the force of luck, and taken a great fall directly into the arms of the unsuspecting laborer that just happened to be on sight at the time. Tobias Snape had caught his unabashed soon-to-be-bride in his hands in an instant, and it was all almost purely accidental. Later he would continue to recount the events in his head and he would realize that he didn't even know how he caught, the feat now seemed nearly impossible being that they had been a good few feet apart at the time.
That same fall enabled the impoverished young laborer to ask the higher class princess out to lunch that same day. From there on things begun to look up, quickly they had fallen in love on a whim as people often do. Eileen almost saw the situation as a way to get back at her parents for her more than unusually harsh upbringing centered around that same pureblood obsession. And than there was Tobias's chance to gain riches and fame by the bucket for he was going to marry into a fortune right? But it would be a fortune unseen for the moment they uttered 'I do,' Eileen's father decided that he didn't and all chance of a dowry or support for the rest of their lives had gone out the door. Of course Tobias knew nothing of the old family prejudices or of his wife's mysterious talents, that did not come until later. Feelings came to a climax after their marriage, when Eileen admitted to Tobias that her parents had a prejudice against his heritage - that being English, Russian, and Hungarian. She told him that her parents had wanted her to marry into more wealth and that poverty didn't suit her at all - in their minds. That was around the time that things begun to escalate, by means of getting even worse that is. It was not long after that night that Eileen admitted this prejudice to Tobias that she also announced that she was pregnant with Severus. Nine grueling months later filled with tears, harsh words, and a lot of alcohol guzzling on Tobias's part, Severus Tobias Snape was born on January the ninth. Born in a lonely back alley during the ambulance ride to the hospital, Severus would not met his father until a week later when the man showed up drunk as could be on the front steps of the house.
The family took a spiral downwards for the worst after Severus was born. Already short on money, having been knocked from the family fortune, Eileen found herself desperate just to make it by. Tobias on the other hand had taken to a life of hard drinking and compulsive gambling which was quickly wittling away any chance that the family had for saving money. It wasn't long before Tobias would become abusive taking out the family's financial problems on both his wife and a young Severus.
Since the family's financial problems had taken a turn for the worst, they ended up selling most of their worldly possessions. They were forced to move into a smaller neighborhood and a shack-like house in the slums of London - ie: Spinner's End. Being dejected to such an environment only made family matters worse, as Tobias begun to blame Severus even more for their financial situation. He often accused him of eating into their savings that were meant for bills and taxes. Throughout these times Severus was known to retreat outside for the company of fresh air to quell the uneasy feelings that his father gave him. During this time he became accustomed to walking down to the muggle park and watching the children playing on the slides and the swings with their watchful parents nearby. It was on one of these very occasions that he spied the Evans's family out for a day at the park. At the time Severus did not know much about the small red head that played so energetically in the sandbox with her sister, but he had a feeling that someday he would introduce himself to her. He was constantly watching and waiting, observing the people in the park as well as those on the sidewalk from a hidden clump of bushes.
Severus lived a very unpleasant life the first eleven years, he was constantly dodging his father's curses, and punches. Since he was old enough to remember he could recall the reasons why he wanted to leave home and start a new life. To keep himself busy he buried his nose in his grandfather's spell books - the only few remaining relics that had been taken from Eileen's parent's house before she had fled that night when she decided to run off and marry Tobias. His only consolation were contained in the stories that his mother told him about the wizarding world and the discussions he shared with his new red-headed friend - Lily Evans. For years he awaited that moment when he would receive that letter and reveal to his father what he really was. He held an eagerness in his soul all those years that only accumulated as time grew closer, this eagerness for the things that were to come. He knew that at Hogwarts he would be accepted and perhaps finally he would find salvation there from the black eyes and bloody lips that he had known at home. There would be no one to protect at Hogwarts, and he could finally spend more time with Lily there, too.
Finally, when the letter arrived, the truth was broken to Tobias, who at the moment had been rather drunk. He was now convinced that both his son and his wife had gone crazy, rather than ridding them of his presence the letter had only made him more anger. It was his house and they were to live up to his rules, and that was not to include some 'stupid' bantering about 'magical wizard things and schools.' Despite Tobias's disgust, Eileen for once put her foot down and fought for Severus's chance. She explained the issue to Tobias and after much bloodshed between all involved parties it was decided that Severus would attend if only to 'rid' them of him for about seven months out of the year. For as Tobias saw it, it was one less mouth to feed, thus more alcohol for him.
Salvation only came after Severus received his letter to Hogwarts. He accepted willingly, and with the aid of Eileen's parents he was able to attend Hogwarts. Eileen's parents had hestitantly given up the money, since they really wanted nothing to do with Eileen and her husband. After some persuading and much heated debate, they finally caved in and decided to allow Severus to pursue his education. Due to this factor, Severus tries to work very hard in school to impress them. He wants very badly to prove himself as a powerful wizard and a willing student. Once he had began to attend Hogwarts, Severus dreaded going home every summer, but soon came to dread going back to school. Everywhere he went he found a new sort of hatred eating away at him, until he could feel nothing anymore.
Despite the hopeful attitude that Severus had entered Hogwarts with he found that his mood had quickly dropped because the holidays always quickly approached him. His mother always begged him to come home on those rare breaks, but Severus always had a lot of resistance at the idea he did not want to again throw himself into his father's clutches. Occasionally of course he would have the resign and go home if only because his mother made him feel guilty about the circumstances that he had left her in. Sure she had a choice in the matter but he could not stop her from making the more stupid decisions. It was during one of these very instances when Severus found himself in big trouble, trouble that nearly got him kicked out of Hogwarts - or at least it had the potential to. During his fourth year Severus had grudgingly gone home to visit his parents for winter break. Of course there was barely anything to come home to once he got there, only to find that they were of course not waiting to pick him up at the train station. After a rather awkward ride home from the Evan's family, Severus found himself on the steps of his own house, which stood quietly against the fading sunlight as if it were a movie set blocking a rather beautiful scenic backdrop. Only after he had opened the door did the trouble start, the argument was raging upstairs and he had not even gotten his trunk halfway through the door before he heard the screaming. On any other day he would have probably ignored it, but today he was at his wit's end after having a rather nasty fall out with James Potter on the train Severus's temper was shot. Before he knew what he was doing he had grabbed for his wand in his pocket and he had stomped upstairs. There he found his father throwing punches at his mother in a rather careless manner while she screamed dodging behind the furniture for protection. It was the same as always. Without even thinking to restrain himself Severus shot a stunning spell in his father's direction. Later when he claimed self defense on behalf of his mother's poor miserable existence the Ministry of Magic had really no choice but to believe him. Promptly after that a short trial had followed and that was the end of it, he was cleared of all accusations although the water appeared to be shallow now in that area. He had given his promise that he would not do it again, but now that he had tasted it - he was more then thoroughly tempted to do away with the man for good next time. This instance along with the willing thoughts of killing his father would continue haunt Severus in the years to come.
His recent school years have proved bothersome, if not a completely painful experience. Severus has had to endure the daily torture from James Potter's group of Marauders and of course the general school population. During his inbetween time Severus has found things to keep himself busy with, like burying his nose into a stack books or working on homework. He has had something of a social life, running with a group of Slytherins that he has known since his first year.
It is said that Severus knew more curses as a first year than most seven years learn their whole time spent at Hogwarts. That was many years ago, and now Severus is still persuing his interest in the dark arts, but to an even greater level. While his mother fidgeted in her seat because her parents had stopped writing, and she was worrying for Severus and his condition [or his lack thereof for being nothing but a measly halfblood rather than a pureblood], Severus had been busy studying. Beginning his fourth year at Hogwarts, Severus has begun to research Occlumency, an obscure ability that he had read about before. He had already chosen his side in this mounting war, in fact it had probably been chosen for him as his distant fate when he was still a child. With a love of the Dark Arts he could barely allow the chance of a possible war - which meant using those illegal powers - slip through his fingers, so he watched the news through emotion-less black eyes. He felt as if he were only slipping further into the deep abyss that had become the large gaping precipice that his life had become since his father begun arguing with his mother. It was the hole in which the smiling faces of others reside all to sure to taunt him every moment of his waking existence.
This year Severus hopes to join a side of the conflict in the years to come that has taken Hogwarts by storm, he has found that his allegiances lie with the reasonably stronger and darker force - that of Lord Voldemort. He has not exposed these opinions yet, but many of his peers can see that it is evident which side he will chose when it comes time to draw. Many people disapprove of the darker forces that are rising, but in the Slytherin common room, praises are sung devoutly like church hymns for the single cause.[/blockquote][/blockquote]
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name/alias:[/color][/b] George
experience:[/color][/b] 7 years!
how did you find us?:[/color][/b] I actually can't remember haha
roleplay sample:[/color][/b] .The steady stream of snow was falling now across the small dead brown rivlets of grass, the dead of winter was setting in and with it came the death of any last hope that any one person might possess at that moment. The snow had already begun to create the heavy thick blanket across the grounds in some areas, it was already entralling itself around the thick iced grey slabs of the castle and the shaved bark of the trees that composed the outer most borders around the castle grounds and of the every famous Forbidden Forest. The fall leaves had gone from sight and with them they had taken all the extraordinary colors that are they are so well known for. The grounds looked desolute in a funny sort of way, as the color had been slowly drained from the sky the last few monthes, students gradually had begun to migrate inside. Everyone was slowly getting the message, the one that winter has slipped softly in their pockets, as if slipping a note to a crush signed in an annoymous manner. That was everyone BESIDES Severus Snape was givent his memo, for in his opinion the seasons might as well have never changed. He moved wistfully underneath the addictive poise of their names, all four of them, as they all rolled indifferently form his tongue, he spoke of them all the same for each one brought unwelcome change to his environment. The unruly heat of summer, or the extreme chill of the winter air were both enough to make even the most thick-blooded northerner cringe and sweat or even shudder with dislike. Cold was no stranger to Severus, the feeling cut like a knife, it was implanted in his bones, it was penetrating his bloodstream, running through his veins - hell it might as well have been pumping his heart, but to see it in its material and physical form was never anything that Severus preffered. He did welcome the chill for it brought the chance of isolation and the appearance of desolute corridors and vast blankets of pure white snow expanding forever into black horizons, but winter had its low points too as all great things do. Everyone was more likely to be walking the corridors of Hogwarts rather than outside sitting in the midst of the snowy grounds reading a book, either that or else they were outside conducting another one of those damn snowball fights that Severus always seemed ever so lucky to get caught in the middle of. Oh how he despised the things, how he wished that he could merely point his wand at all those involved and curse them into some firey pit of void doom that was probably lingering very near to them, for Severus hell was never to far away.
Winter was the time of the year when he could offer his coat unbashedly to any passing shivering female and perhaps not be frowned upon so deeply for once, and maybe even occasionally he would be taken up on the offer. It was the time when the days grew short and the fires crackled merrily throughout the castle when the marauders rested more often and there was not as much havoc to be wrecked upon the halls. Where maybe Severus Snape was not viewed as such a bad guy twenty four seven because he had lent so-and-so a quill in fifth hour potions, or he had corrected so-and-so on their theory that goat-liver and mill weed would go well together in a potion that was involved for such and such a reason. No, perhaps winter was not a bad holiday at all, but with the holidays looming nearby Severus could never be as happy as he would have liked to be. No, for the nightmares of Spinner's End were nearly around the corner and home for the holidays was the last thing that he wanted to be if his life depended on it. It was the only thing that he wanted to change right now, and it was the single thing that he did not have the power to change.
In this same powerless mindset a set of dead black eyes laced with contempt stared out at the first snow as if a gloomy proposition from the sky above had just been slipped beneath his nose. There was no hope to be found beneath the greying white snow, nor was there any innocence in the devilish act of the falling snow which only had intent to kill all the living things beneath it. For winter brought death, it brought a death of long days, a death of plants, and perhaps a death of people as well. It brought on the depression of grey skies and gloomy days that could only be eased by the false hope that any day now everyone would be at home sitting at an overstuffed mahogany table munching happily on pumpkin pie surrounded by relatives and strangers five times removed. Yes, there was a happy thought - normalcy, something Severus had yet to experiance. A pair of green eyes loomed knowingly at the brink of his own unconscious mind, the memory was something wicked, those eyes taunted him. He blinked his own black eyes a few times and sighed to no one in particular. Pulling the heavy black trenchcoat closer to his far to skinny form Severus wondered if she would be staying at home for winter break this year. The family was always going on these long holiday expeditions to places Severus couldn't usually pronounce. Muggles, he thought bitterly, Spending endless amounts of money on meaningless situations. A skinny strand of slick greasy black hair fell limply to the side of Severus's face. He pushed the strand back in a weary manner as he examined a large clump of snow that was forming near the toe of his black boot. It was a weekend and he was not frequenting his usual school robes but a set of oddly mismatched items that he had plucked from his closest and his dirty laundry pile, for a clean clear mind didn't need clean linens every single waking day - at least that's what Severus thought, and that was all that mattered. A set of rather frayed jeans looked rather out of place with a white collared shirt that seemed to be slipped off from his set of school uniforms. The shirt itself was rumpled and greying from being washed so much, since the Snape family was not exactly known for their riches it wasn't uncommon to see Severus skipping around in second or even third hand clothing that was perhaps his father's at one time. Despite his own hatred for the man he didn't exactly have a say in the manner, in fact he had very few words in any matter that went on underneath the roof in the Snape family home. Black eyes hardened at the thought for a few seconds, and contempt turned to pure hatred as he stared daggers at the white falling snow below his boots. The strong desire to rip something apart sprang to mind again for the umpteenth time today, but Severus refused to obey it this time, he had been killing flies earlier absentmindedly inside his dorm room and that was the damage for the day.
The scabs on his wrist tingled absentmindedly and he thought about all the things that he had done in the past that he regretted, but would never admit to. Some things were best left unsaid and unmentioned in causual conversation, or even in passing, for there were some secrets to dark or to dirty to reveal to the general public. No one really understood when it came to those matters, they were usually hung up with nodding their head like the newest toy out of the cracker jack box. The only thing that they were talented at was keeping their center of gravity focused, for he knew that he would've been a helluva a lot dizzy if he had been in their shoes. He looked up at the sky a little grudgingly, lunch had been served a few hours ago and he had been rather busy with his Occlumency study at the moment that he had forgotten to attend and he could feel the distant detached rumblings of his own stomach beneath the white cotton shirt. The pains were not as distanct as one would have expected them to be, because Severus was far more used to going hungry then one might imagine, for he did often forget to eat. Forgetting to eat did have it's benefits especially if the events of a certain day had been especially embrassing in front of the general public, after realizing that he could survive missing more than a meal or too, Severus was able to rest easy as he skipped breakfast, lunch, and sometimes even dinner. His mind was surprisingly focused, for Severus had never been one to give into the functions or the needs of his own body much, he was still thinking clearly and the lack of food was not clouding his mind any.
He shifted noisy on the steps that he was perched on, the slick cool surface was penetrating the numerous layers that he had opted on wearing this morning. The perch in question were the east side castle steps facing the front lawns, he was near the side of the castle, almost at the point where the huge wooden doors opened to the grand entrance hall. All the glamour of the school had been sucked from his imagination at the tender age of eight when his father had loudly proclaimed that Hogwarts was a school for 'queers' and that his son might as well have been one for he seemed to be jumping on the 'bandwagon.' At the time Severus hadn't known what the term queer meant, but by his father's words he could tell that it was not a good thing, even though his mother had told him wonderful stories about the school when she could muster the trepidation and time he was sitll somewhat effected by his father's opinion too. So easily were the views of a child ruined by such images, it surprised Severus mildly now that he would have ever at any time in his life taken that Bastard's words to heart. The memory drifted into his conscious mind for a split second before it was shooed away haphazardly with a tinge of disgust bordering the reality that was already building steadily upon the hatred that was always just below the surface for the man that he knew he would spend the rest of his miserable existance and eternity hating. Shifitng once more in his seat, Severus leaned back now resting his weight on his elbows which were perched on the step directly behind him, he was now half laying half sitting sprawled across the steps. He was in clear doubt that anyone would be wandering down those steps anytime soon, for he had staked out one of the more lesser known places to sit for he was not expecting company - for Severus company usually meant trouble, and trouble was nothing he liked. Once more his black eyes swiveled across the acculumating snow, he appeared to be waiting for someone or something, when in truth just below the surface it was not a someone he was waiting for or a something, but just a day - the day that he would be able to muster up the strength to tell her what he had always wanted.
Since when were desires so simple, yet his wish was a simple one, one that could be granted in the wave of a magic wand - or yes, the tip of a small tiny vial of sweet smelling potion colored a bright violent pink. But such trickery was only for the those low lifes who were deceived enough that true love could be conjured out of such magic and methods. Severus knew that it was no so easily to be true, love was something to be won, to be shown, not to be concocted in some back alley lab. At least he knew this much about those feelings, and for that he was grateful because sometimes these were the only thoughts that kept him going. Somewhere deep within himself he knew that there was a reason why he was still breathing, and why he was sitting here, but what that reason was was never all too clear to him. Such was the thoughts of a lovestruck teenager sitting beneath a frosty sky gloomy with the season's first winter snow with nothing to do but wait and wonder.