Just Wanna Talk (James) - Complete

[talls]

Ferret drummed her fingers on the wood of the table, feeling extremely impatient. And nervous but mostly impatient. She was not good at being patient, one of her greatest flaws. She had finished her work and was just waiting for the clock to strike two. She had sent a note for them to meet her at that time.

The clock had struck almost five minutes ago. But to Ferret, that was a lifetime.

As Lily Evan's best (girl) friend, she had taken in upon herself to...interview anyone who wished to get her attention. It was her job as Lily's sister-she-never-had-but-deserved role. And she would be damned if she messed up.

She was wearing a muggle looking dress suit. Her hair was pulled out of her face and into a strict bun and wore cat-eye secretary glasses. In front of her were papers with questions and space for her to take notes. She had a quill and a bottle of ink next to her for that very reason.

She had sent James Potter to meet her at two o'clock and she was going to quiz him to see if he was worthy of her best friend.

[James Potter]

James saw the note and he couldn't help but laugh. The whole thing had a rather...professional look to it, but it was signed by Ferret telling him to meet her at 2pm in the Great Hall. He raised an eyebrow as he reread the note again, an amused smile tugging at his mouth.

Ferret was Lily's best friend, and, although they didn't talk much, James couldn't help but find her more than a little amusing. She came out with some the most random comments, and was was rather forward with the things she said - no shame.

Walking into the room he was greeted with the sight of Ferret wearing a suit and sitting at a table, parchment all over and a quill in hand. What was this?

He couldn't fight the amusement off his face as he headed towards her casually, wondering what all this was about. "So... I'm here."

[talls]

Finally hearing Potter's voice, she looked up. She made notes about his attire and his smirk. He thought she was being funny did he? She made a note with a disapproving shake of the head.

"You are late Mr. Potter," she told him, pushing her glasses farther up her nose. "But take a see, I do not have all day." She shuffled her papers and placed them into a neat pile.

"As Lily Evans' council, it is my job to judge any of those who would wish to seek attention from Miss. Evans. That is to say, he wishes to date her." Shuffling her papers again, she pushed the glasses up her nose once more. "I am going to ask you a series of questions. Answer them honestly and quickly. Afterwards I shall give the results to Miss. Evans and shall provide advice to see if you are date worthy."

[James Potter]

Ferret took one look at him for writing something down on the parchment in front of her and giving him a disapproving look. It only served to make James feel even more amused than he had earlier. What was with all the formalities? She was speaking like they didn't know each other and he was some... interviewee about to be put under the proverbial knife.

Was he really hearing this? There was no keeping the look off his face but he did manage to keep from laughing out loud and making any comments that he may regret later. This whole thing of 'interview the potentials' though? He had every intention of having some fun with it.

James smirked. "Does this mean that Miss Evans is actually considering me? Or do you just need someone out of a frighteningly short list of people to pester with your questions?"

He said it more because he felt he had to say it too keep up appearances. After what had happened just a few days ago in that empty classroom... with the game and kisses and all that? Well... he and Lily had been on much better terms... he thought. He hadn't actually spoken to her since then, but they hadn't actually been snapping at each other's necks. Now, he was just trying to keep up the whole 'she hates me' image and act nonchalant so that no one would find out what had happened - at least not until he knew where they stood himself.

[talls]

Ferret looked at him over her glasses. She began to wonder where the boy from the empty class room was. Maybe it was her in her normal form. She held back a sigh. Shuffling her papers, she shook her head.

"Miss. Evans has made it clear to me, that she does not have any interest in dating at the moment. However, as her representation, it is my job to see if those interested in her are worthy of her once this opinion changed."

She shuffled her papers again, and dipped her quill in ink. "Severus Snape actually scored quite high on my questions as is thus far the perfect match for Miss. Evans. However, I will happily tell her that you are not taking this seriously and suggest that she consider Severus Snape as a worthy dating mate."

'As much as the idea makes me gag,' she thought bitterly.

[James Potter]

He watched as Ferret peered over her glasses at him and he locked gazes with her, still wondering what was up with all the paper shuffling as she spoke. This whole idea seemed a bit insane, and it definitely wasn't something he could imagine Lily agreeing to. This seemed very 'Ferret' and not very 'Lily'. "Does she know you're doing this?"

Again, more paper shuffling. It's kinda starting to get annoying. Those piles of papers couldn't get much straighter then they already were...

Urgh! More mention of Snape. Like James hadn't heard that slimy git's name enough times for one day. Did he really need to hear more of it now? And when it came in the same sentence as Lily's name? Really not something he wanted to hear. A shudder went through him at the very thought of Lily with that slimy haired git. The very idea was preposterous. Lily was beautiful and intelligent and so many other things, and she needed so much more than an anti-social slime ball who hung around with people who hated Lily for everything that made her who she was.

That wasn't James saying he thought he'd make a better someone for her, he just knew that Snivillus certainly wan't the right guy for her. "If Snivillus scored high then this should be easy, shouldn't it?" He shook his head and flopped down into the seat in front of her. "You would never recommend Snape to her. You dislike that slime ball almost as much as I do."

[talls]

Ferret laughed, unable to hold her character for that moment. "James, do you really think she knows I'm doing this? Do you really think I would be sitting here if she knew I was doing this?" Lily would kill her if she found out. Which is why she wasn't going to tell her about it until she was done.

She snorted as she fell back into character. "We will see won't we Mr. Potter. Mr. Snape and Lily's muggle friend have a bit of an advantage on this test because they have known her for so long."

She felt a shiver course through her body at the mention of Snape again. "My feelings on who I like does not effect the outcome of this test. If Mr. Snape scores higher than you and Lily's muggle friend, then I will have no choice but to suggest him."

She looked at him over her glasses. "Are you going to take this seriously or not?"

[James Potter]

Yep, this was definitely all an act that she was putting on, and to be honest, her serious act, when he knew it was all pretend, made him want to laugh and just mess around, not make him feel in any way intimidated or like he should be trying to be serious.

"I hope I can be there to see the look on her face when she finds out, too." That would be priceless...

He didn't miss the way she jumped from calling him James to Mr. Potter in a matter of seconds either, and even the tone of her voice changed between casual and formal. James just laughed and shook his head.

James raised an eye brow. "Oh? And how exactly have you managed to... 'interview' her muggle friend?" James struggled to image Ferret around any muggles. She was just so crazily weird that it was hard to imagine her with a muggle in any way... Then again, maybe he was slightly underestimating muggles there.

Once again, Ferret said she would suggest Snape if he scored higher, and James just snorted a laugh. "No you wont." He fake-coughed as he said it but the words were still clear enough.

"Are you going to take this seriously or not?"

Grinning, James shoved his bag to the floor, loosened his tie, and flung his feet up onto the desk in between the two of them, his hands going to the back of his head as he slunk down in his seat it a very casual and rather comfortable position. "Nah, probably not." He grinned and winked at her. "But don't let that put you off, doll."

This could turn about to be rather amusing after all.

[talls]

Ferret raised an eyebrow, looking at James. "My baby brother is a squib living with muggles now. Its not hard for me to blend in." Her voice was dangerously low as she spoke and her eyes flashed. "It wasn't hard. I told him I was a friend of Lily's from school and had a few questions for him. He did very well and he bought me a coffee."

Her eyes flashed again as he coughed. "Wanna try me Mr. Potter?" she hissed. "I am already in a pissy mood for Snape doing so well, but I will follow through and give the advice to Lily to date him."

When he winked at her, that was the last straw. Grabbing her papers, she stood and turned towards the door. "Have a good day James, enjoy watching Lily and Snape date."

[James Potter]

The sudden change from trying not to laugh to this obviously annoyed Ferret was a bit of a sudden change, and James raised an eyebrow in surprise. What exactly had he said to piss her off? He only asked how she managed Lily’s muggle friend considering they were in school right now, he didn’t actually say anything out loud about not being able to see her fitting in with muggles too easily. Then again, what did he know? But… a squib? Now there was a bit of information he didn’t know before. ”Well I can’t buy you coffee but I’m sure if you really wanted me to, I could get a glass of pumpkin juice. That’s about all this place has to offer.” He grinned at her and wondered if Lily knew about her best friend talking to her muggle friends…

James rolled his eyes. ”Then fake the results. Make it look like Snape did terribly or something. Or… just tell her he results border on stalkerish or something.” He tried to ignore her obviously deteriorating mood.

Slumping down in his seat, the last thing James expected was for Ferret to flip out and stomp off. His jaw dropped and he gave a somewhat incredulous laugh. ”Oh come on!” He grabbed his back from the floor and stood up in one fluid motion, following Ferret to the door.

”You can’t be serious. Girl, take a joke! Come here with those.” He jogged and few steps and grabbed at the papers, pulling a few sheets towards him and reading quickly over the first few lines. What sort of questions were these supposed to be? ”What do you like about Lily Evans? Why would you consider yourself a worthy candidate to date Miss L. Evans?” He muttered the questions out loud as he read them. ”Name some of Miss Evan’s favorite things.” He held she sheets up in one hand and looked back to Ferret ”I could answer these. Anyone could. No wonder that bloody snake scored high with questions like these!”

[talls]

Ferret stomped off. Muttering darkly to herself. "This isn't a joke Potter!" she yelled over her shoulder. "Even if I wanted to fake results, I can't! Lily keeps a truth potion under her pillow! If your not going to take this seriously, why both-hey!" she reached towards the papers, trying to take them back with no success.

Finally, she pulled them from his hands. "Of course those are easy stupid! That's only level one!" she shouted, her face turning red with anger. "There are five levels! The more levels you pass the better!" Ferret muttered something along the lines of: "I can't beleive Remus is friends with such prats" before taking a deep breath.

"I want Lily to date, but I want her to date someone who cares about her and knows when to cut the crap and be serious. Lily is my best friend, it is the least I could do to find her someone who cares about her to date." The girl crossed her arms with an eyebrow raised.

"Now, do you want to beat Snape's slimy ass or not?"

[James Potter]

James pulled some of the papers from her hands and read a couple of the questions out loud. How easy could you get? These were so easy anyone who'd spoke to Lily more than once would be able to answer them.

Ferret fumed at him as she explained that it was on some sort of levels system and James sighed. Any angry Ferret... Good start. He couldn't understand how she'd gone from laughing to grumping in the space of thirty seconds. Bloody females...

He heard Remus's made muttered and raised an eyebrow. Since when had she been friends with Remus? This was news to him... But... maybe that explained where his friend kept vanishing off to every now and again.

James raised an eyebrow. "You think I don't care about her?" He laughed before muttering,

[/b]"Where were you a week ago..?"[/b]

He couldn't shake the memories of that evening from his mind no matter how hard he tried to. It was like they were permanently etched there to torment him now. Every time he lay down to try and sleep the images of her on that table, shirt off and skirt raised, filled his mind and started his blood racing. It had caused a few...problems, but he was trying not to think about that.

James sighed. "Fine. Okay. Ask away. Let's beat Snape..."

Though he knew this probably wasn't going to be easy. He didn't have the advantage of trust and time that the greasy haired git did...
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