Amycus

[bastan]

Rabastan sat down at his desk. It had gone 2am in the morning and everyone was asleep in the dormitory. Now is the best time. thought the heartbroken soul to himself. He could see that Amycus was sad these days and perhaps it was the fact that Bastan was avoiding his best friend. It was just that he was not strong enough emotionally to face him just yet. The youngest LeStrange literally made sure that he woke up before everyone else, that he went to bed after everyone else and he ate in the Great Hall after everyone else as well. That was when he was a little peckish, most of the time he avoided food altogether.

Seeing Amycus looking sad was almost too much for him to bare. He wanted more than anything to rush to his friend, tell them that they were okay. After all, Amycus had not done anything wrong, he would not know what was up with Bastan and Bastan wanted to keep it that way.

Pulling his quill and parchment out, he wrote a short and quick note before laying back in bed ready for his bodyclock to wake him at 5am. Then he would run to the Owlery and give the note to his Owl, Liberator.....

Waking up at 5, Bastan threw on his clothes, his eyes strayed to the sleeping Amycus and as usual he stood for a few seconds in awe before rushing out. As per usual tears began to flow easily and Bastan ensured that his speed would prevent any lurker from spotting his one and only weakness.

Amycus Dear Friend:

Regarding the Ball, I just wanted to let you know that you looked amazing. Seeing you having a real good time made me happy. I am sorry that I did not make myself known to you, but I had received a distressing Owl from Father and I was not in the mood to party. I hope on that you can forgive me?

Also I wanted you to know that I have been busy of late, now that I am Prefect I have all these duties that are taking up a lot of my time, not to mention little jobs from Father and so I have literally been rushed off my feet. I have not been avoiding you or anything...

Now that the leaves are falling, I find the sights around Hogwarts breathtaking and so have been enjoying early morning runs before lessons. I hope this letter finds you well.

I hope you and Narcissa will be happy, together. Forgive me for not wanting to hear your girlfriend/boyfriend stories, I am very jealous and would like to kill her.

[/s][/color] (Scribbled out so Amycus cannot see.)

Your Best Friend Bastan x [/size][/color][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[amycuscarrow]

The only relief that Amycus could find these days was sleeping. There wasn't much to the day anymore - what was the point when you hated all your classes, your best friend was avoiding you and you were starting to fear your own sexuality? Shaking his head, Amycus sat on the side of his bed as the morning shone through the window.

Today would be a day just like any other.

Almost in a mechanical motion, Amycus dressed himself and found his school satchel still full of the same books as yesterday. He didn't bother to say hi to his sister as he passed her in the common room, but instead took the same blank stare all the way to the Great Hall, where he found his breakfast.

Just as he started to cut his toast in half, Bastan's owl swooped from the ceiling and dropped a letter next to his plate. That was strange. Amycus never got mail...

As he opened it, a smile soon spread across his thin lips. He could see, feel and touch where Bastan had scribbled things out and paused, trying to think of the words to say. Bastan always had an elegant hand - something which Amycus was beginning to notice more and more.

A full smile spread across his face, Amycus drew out a spare bit of parchment and a quill from his satchel and set them down on the table.

[/justify]

Bastan,

Yeah, the party was alright. It got worse as the night went on.

Look, I know you have prefect duties and you sure do love your running, but can I see you sometime? It's been ages.

[/size]

Amycus had to pause at what to write about Narcissa. Things hadn't gone to plan... and what was it that Bastan had scribbled out? Amycus couldn't see.

[/justify]

Don't worry about Narcissa. We're not going to be seeing much more of each other, that's for sure.

Don't be a stranger.

Your best friend Amycus.

[/size]

Amycus called back for Liberator, who was hanging off one of the rafters on the far side of the ceiling. "Make sure this gets to Bastan, okay?" He tied his small note to Liberator's foot and sent the bird on it's way.

A spring in his step, Amycus left the Great Hall early for his class, his food forgotten and cold, sitting atop the Slytherin table.

Today was going to be a good day.

[/justify]

[bastan]

The picturesque scenic views was enough to take Bastans breath away and this was why he chose to run by the lake. As far as he was concerned now, his conscious was clear. he could continue to avoid Amycus that little bit longer, until he was ready to accept his friends change of consequence.

Bastan tried to look on the brighter side of life right now, though there weren't many brighter things to look forward to. Well there was the fact that his Father was proud of him for becoming a Prefect, that and he had many things going for him at school. he was getting pretty good marks considering that his social like was at a stand still. Nobody else seemed to want to talk to him these days, other than his brother Rodolphus who seemed to follow him around like a little worried puppy. He was wise enough to know that Bastan would not really talk about things. The older LeStrange boy would keep at a distance and smile and wave wryly in a vain attempt to see how his brother was.


His lungs were burning already, but his feet kept pounding the softened grass. The day was bright, but really cold and Bastan expected that the frosts would come soon. It was certainly cold enough for it. The run was a refreshing break from his constant Prefect duties or studies, but it did not help to clear his mind. A part of him was hugely angry at Amycus for letting a girl come between them, but a huge part of himself was angry at himself. Amycus had every right to get a girlfriend. He was at the adequate age that girls and boys started lusting for each other and he was a hot blooded male. Bastan stopped running with a groan and stood by the lake trying to catch his breath. His arms swung forward, his body bent over, short sharp pants were expelling from his lungs as they tried to inhale lots of fresh oxygen. The red faced boy looked out the lake and kicked a stone out in frustration.

"Why can I not just get over this?" he asked himself softly, fulling confident that he was alone. The boy sat on the cold grass and looked out towards the lakes and the views. Instead of the lake he saw Amycus' eyes, instead of the sky he saw Amycus' smile, instead of the mountains, he saw Amycus. Everywhere he looked Amycus was there. Groaning again he lay back and closed his eyes, the sun filtering in through his lashes leaving a warm pink colour where his eyelids protected the pupils.

"OUCH." he whispered sitting up. He turned to see Liberator nipping his fingers and he realised he must have drifted off for a little while. Forgiving the Owl immediately, he began to stroke his soft plumage whilst untying the letter. His heart as in his mouth as he suspect this was a reply from the note he wrote earlier. Unravelling the letter proved that his theory was correct, he recognised Amycus' hasty scrawl immediately.

'Bastan,

Yeah, the party was alright. It got worse as the night went on.

Look, I know you have prefect duties and you sure do love your running, but can I see you sometime? It's been ages.

Don't worry about Narcissa. We're not going to be seeing much more of each other, that's for sure.

Don't be a stranger.

Your best friend Amycus.'

His cerulean eyes, flickered as they followed the letters, his mind taking in every meaning, every stroke of the quill. After finishing it, tears sprang to his eyes. So this was it then, he wanted Bastan to accept that Narcissa would be in their lives. Bastan could expect nothing less.

'Don't worry about Narcissa. We're not going to be seeing much more of each other, that's for sure.'

Don't worry about Narcissa.... It was kind of Amycus, typical of his...no not his any longer. It was typical of Amycus Carrow to try and placate his friend. He was the kindest and loyalist of friends, but to his enemy he was as deadly as they come. A bit like a calmer version of Bastan.

'We're not going to be seeing much more of each other, that's for sure...' Another way of him trying to be honest but in a nice way. To try and make Bastan feel better about things, but a good. strong and honest answer. Bastan and Amycus would not be seeing each other very much for sure as he...Amycus was with Narcissa now. This was as much as any kind of confirmation that Bastan needed.

His strong hands, dropped the parchment in defeat, a groan escaped his body as he sadly looked out towards the lake. This was it, this was his life now. It was something that he had no other choice but to get used to, especially as he had no intention of ever telling Amycus how he truly felt. There was far too much as stake for both of them. Maybe this really was for the best. That was what he would have to tell himself from now on, just to keep him breathing.

It was then that one sentence sprang up from his memory of reading the letter, the one he ignored after reading the last devastating sentence.

'...but can I see you sometime?' His mind truly raced, he did not know what to say! He really could not face Amycus right now but at the same time, his friend did not deserve this. He had no other choice, he would just have to go. Put a brave face on and act like nothing was wrong.

With a pencil he kept on him (in case his Father sent an owl in which he expected an immediate response.)...Bastan rapidly scribbled an answer...

Amycus,

I guess I could find time for my best friend, where and when?

Bastan

[amycuscarrow]

The day was over almost as soon as it had started. Although Amycus had a full day of classes, he barely realised that he'd been drifting between the lot of them. He hadn't taken any notes down and he could barely remember which teacher he'd had for Defence Against the Dark Arts (something about Dawlish going AWOL - Amycus didn't really care). All he had really thought about all day was the fact that he was going to see Bastan soon.

Why was this? He'd never been so excited to see anyone in his life - not even his parents after they'd come home from months of travelling. What was it about Bastan?

Sure, he was Amycus' best friend. They'd been close ever since Amycus could really remember... but what was changing about their relationship now? Shaking his head, Amycus put the thought out of his mind and made his way back down to the Slytherin Common Room.

Just as he passed a window next to Filch's broom closet on the first floor, there was a tapping at the window. Drawn out of his train of thought, Amycus turned a quizzical brow towards the source of the sound. Liberator! He rushed over to the window and yanked it open, letting Liberator into the castle from the chilling weather outside. "Good boy," he said, his eyes bright as he petted Liberator on the head.

His fingers shaking and his heart racing at a hundred miles an hour, he opened the letter...


Short, but sweet. Just the way Amycus liked it. He scrambled around in his bag and found a quill. He flipped the parchment over and scrawled on the back,

Meet me in the Great Hall for dinner tomorrow evening,

Amycus

[/size]

"Sorry," Amycus said to the owl as he tied the parchment to the bird's leg. Liberator had been back and forth so many times today. "Make sure you get something to eat first, okay?" And with those words, Amycus ushered Liberator out of the window and back to where Bastan was hiding.

Amycus couldn't wait.[/blockquote][/justify]

[ ooc: unnghhhh it's awful. sorry, love D: ]

[bastan]

Something was stirring inside of Bastan. For the whole day he had been trying to not think about meeting up with Amycus. His life would have been all too easy if he could just avoid him altogether, geez who was he kidding? Since realising that he had feelings for his best friend, his life would never be easy again. Bastan had already accumulated three detentions with Filch, the new Caretaker. One for putting his foot into a mop bucket and kicked it across the Hall in frustration scattering the sloppy dirty content everywhere for all to see. The next during Care of Magical creatures, when he set fire to a Bowtruckle. The bloody thing kept throwing sharp sticks at him, so incensed with anger, he pulled his wand out and sent blue flames towards it and the rest as they say is....black ashes on the forest floor. The last detention was from his Art of Flying lesson. They were studying quidditch and having played quidditch quite well for all of his life, he kinda sent a bludger in the directions of a snotty nosed Ravenclaw who looked at him funny, well and he shouted out that 'he (Bastan) played like a gay man.' and that was too close to comfort. The same boy was ushered into the hospital wing with a broken nose. Bastan just snarled and shrugged when he got another detention, at least all three detentions would help him keep his distance from Amycus and Cissy.

Sighing he walked to the Great Hall and sat amongst the table of green and black bobbing up and down. Though Slytherin House was mostly full of Pureblood families, some had the manners of a mountain troll and Bastan had to bite his cheek to stop him from gaining another detention as he nibbled on some chips, whilst other grabbed handfuls of sausages, eggs and bacon. It was disgusting and the Slytherin prefect was already feeling a little nauseous from not eating much nor sleeping much. He knew inwardly that he had to sort his head out. Otherwise he would end up dead or even worse, give his feelings away for all to see! Grabbing a sausage he walked out of the Hall and made his way up to the Owlery again. A visit with Liberator would help.

On his way, it seemed that the owl found him and Bastan found himself marvelling at how elegant and gracious his owl really was. Strapped to his claw was another note and Bastan help his breath as he unclipped it and read.

Meet me in the Great Hall for dinner tomorrow evening,

Amycus

Amycus' answer was just as short as his own had been and Bastan scratched his head as what little dinner he had eaten had threatened to come up again. Amycus had wanted to meet him tomorrow, in the Great Hall amongst their peers. A little of his panic receded, the thought of being surrounded by their peers eased him, just a little. No outbursts, though perhaps that was what Amycus planned. He probably wanted to talk all about Cissy and how marvellous she was. Bastan groaned as Liberator began to nibble his finger and he gave his owl the rest of his half eaten sausage from dinner. This gave the sly Slytherin a chance to think up an answer whilst his owl tucked into his meaty morsel.

Bastan carefully sat down on the wet grass as his owl fed. His blue eyes scanned the grouds, beautiful landscapes were everywhere to be seen. Taking in a few deep breaths, Bastan thought of his brother Roddy. What would he do in this situation? In all honesty, Bastan had no idea. No clue and it was tearing him apart. His owl had finished eating and Bastan scribbled a reply.

Cool, meet you there.

P.S. I hope you are happy, truly.

Your Friend Forever, Bastan.

As Liberator flew towards Amycus, Bastan felt a little sad but a little lighter as a huge realisation dawned on him. His life was going to be a hard one and he was okay with that. As long as Amycus was happy. He would channel Amycus' happiness to himself and with that small thought he smiled a little as his owl became a little dot in the grey sky.