Unreal {Emily}

[Chase Connors]

Chase wandered aimlessly through empty corridors, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind and two bottles of firewhiskey tucked into his robes. It couldn't be true... It just couldn't. Not his dad. That wasn't right. It made no sense at all. It was a mistake and nothing more, and the papers would be apologizing for their mistake in the morning. If it was true someone would have told him before now... They wouldn't have left it and let him find out like that. More reason to believe it was just a sick mistake.

He had no idea where Emily was right now, but being honest, he didn't want to know. He'd seen that look of pity in her eyes when she read that article and he didn't want to see any more of it. It wasn't true god damnit! Why show pity over something that wasn't true? He just needed to get away for while and be alone... And wait tomorrow morning when the papers would tell him it had all been a mistake... It would happen. It had to...

Before he knew what was happening, Chase was making the long trek up to the roof, climbing the seemingly endless staircase. At least on the roof he'd be alone and he could just... stand there, cold wind on his face and nothing to focus on. He could just let his mind shut off and stop thinking completely while the breeze and the near silence calmed him.

Chase took a bottle from inside his robes and stood there, staring down over the grounds and just being relieved that he was alone. Words felt really hard right now. It was like they stuck in his throat and jammed there painfully, or like something was wrapping steely-cold hands around his neck and squeezing down every time he opened his mouth to speak. Or maybe it wasn't that at all. His jaw was locked so tightly that any motion seemed to hurt. It was as if all his emotion fled to the hinge of his jaw and collected there, and any movement risked all that emotion breaking loose... Whatever the reason, he didn't care. All he knew is that he really wasn't in the mood for talking. Each word seemed like an effort to say.

Chase raised the bottle to his lips and took several long gulps from the bottle, the harsh burning of the liquor a pleasant change. He wanted to just be able to say that he was okay and everything was fine, but even he knew that wasn't true. It wasn't fine. Nothing was. But there was just so much racing through his mind that he just needed some time to start and understand everything. To put a specific name to the way he was feeling? It didn't seem possible. He didn't think a word existed that would sum it up.

He swigged another mouthful of the firewhiskey as he stood there, glad that he had it. It was the one source that might just be able to keep him numb and sane though all this, if he could just drink enough of it.

Chase had no idea how long he'd been up there on the roof but before long the bottle of firewiskey was empty and Chase was staring at it with contempt. He had another one, but he didn't want this one to be empty, because that meant he was half out of it already, and so far it didn't seem to be numbing him at all in the way he wanted it too.

It had started raining at some point but when that was he had no idea. All he knew was that this day was exhausting.

There was a noise from the door behind him and Chase sighed, only glancing over his shoulder for a second before turned to look back over the grounds. He wacked the empty bottle from where he'd put in on the ledge and watched it tumble on it's long decent to the school grounds, but even that didn't seem to make him feel anything at all. He sighed.

"Why're you here?" Each word he said felt like an effort to say, and each word weighed on exhaustion. He was just so tired of everything today. Everything that had happened. There just wasn't enough minutes in the day to allow him to get a grasp on everything, yet too many minutes for his liking. He just wished he could wake up and it be morning already. A new day. A new start. Because this day sucked way too much. Besides, this was all a joke, right?

[Emily Prescott]

Emily was distraught and at a loss of what to do. Ever since reading of Rio's death she'd felt in a bit of a daze but her mind had solely been on one person. Chase. After he'd left the Great Hall he'd disappeared, and she'd spent the entire day searching for him. It was breaking her heart to think of what he must be going through, he was in shock she knew that much and from what he'd said before running from the Great Hall, in a serious case of denial. Emily just prayed he didn't do anything stupid.

A few people had said he may have gone home, but after talking to a few of the Professor's she'd found that to be untrue. He needed to be home with his family, but the state he was in now there was no way that'd happen. Emily just prayed when she found him she could convince him of that. Running a hand through her curls she lingered in the Entrance Hall, looking out the main doors warily. The rain was battering down, mirroring the emotions of a lot of people today. Emily was still struggling to get her head around it, Rio was gone, murdered, but why? None of it made sense he was a Quidditch Player, why would Death Eater's have targeted him?

"Chase where are you?" she whispered to herself before a thought occurred to her. Today she had checked everywhere around the castle except the one place that should have the most obvious place to look. The roof. With that in mind she turned on her heel and took off up the stairs, glad for the fact she'd took up running again or there was no way she'd be able to move this fast, especially up all these stairs. Emily was praying he was here, if he wasn't she was completely at a loss, and would likely have to return to the Hufflepuff common room to wait for his return. If he returned.

As she reached the top, Emily stopped to catch her breath, pressing hand against her side to ward off the stitch that was beginning to form. Shaking her head she pushed open the door and stepped out onto the roof, her shoulders sagging with relief. He was here. Chase glanced back at her before looking away again and Emily felt her heart break as she observed him, sitting on the edge of the roof, soaked through, the rain falling heavily all around them. She'd only just stepped outside herself and was already close to being soaked through. Taking a step towards Chase she grimaced as he knocked a bottle off over the edge of the roof.

"Why're you here?"

"Why do you think? I was worried about you." she said, he'd been drinking and that worried her. Moving closer to him she sat down on the edge of the roof, close to him but far away enough to give him his own room. Emily felt at a loss at what to do, all she wanted was to reach out and wrap her arms around him, but something stopped her from doing so. Something told her he wouldn't want that from her, not right now. "I looked everywhere for you...Chase I..." she opened her mouth to say something, anything but nothing seemed good enough so she stopped. Sighing softly she looked away from her boy-friend and down towards the ground where the bottle had just fell.

[Chase Connors]

"Why do you think? I was worried about you."

Chase looked down and didn't take his eyes off the direction the empty bottle had just fallen even as Emily sat down near him. He wanted to say something - just tell her that he was fine and there was nothing to worry about, but he couldn't even force the words out. He didn't even want to use the energy it took to move his eyes and look somewhere else, never mind talk. Even if he could have said those words, he knew that they would have the conviction in them to convince either of them.

She sat close, but not too close, and for some reason he appreciated that. He didn't really want to be around anyone right now, he just wanted to be alone with only the rain and his remaining bottle of firewhiskey keeping him company. He knew he should appreciate the fact she'd hunted him out all the way up here but what was the point? It wasn't like any of this was real anyway, he was still sure that by morning the papers would have realized their mistake and things would be fine.

Emily spoke again and it seemed like she didn't know what to say either. For a few minutes they sat there in silence just looking down over the grounds that were hardly visible through the force of the rain that torrented down.

Sighing, Chase pulled the second bottle of firewhiskey out from under his robes and wasted no time in popping off the top and taking a lot, burning gulp from it. Anything, so long as it would numb his mind.

[Emily Prescott]

Chase didn't talk to her, didn't even look at her and although Emily knew he was in some form of denial over his Father, that hurt her. Burying it deep down she reminded herself of what he was going through, of course he was having a hard time believing his Father was dead. It was no way to learn such news, in the paper and she was angry that he hadn't been told before hand, her heart broke all over again when she let this morning replay over in her head. Losing a parent had to be bad enough but having it happen in that manner...why the hell had no one bothered to inform him before hand! It was his Dad for crying out loud.

Shaking her head she sighed softly, swallowing away the tears she wanted to shed, not just for Chase and what he was going through, but for Rio as well. They'd spent only a few days together over Christmas and although their first meeting hadn't exactly been a highlight, she still thought he was one of the most incredible people she'd ever met. The way he'd looked at April, seeing how much love he had for his wife had been inspiring and to think they'd gotten together so young. Then she'd seen his dedication and love towards his children...who would have wanted to hurt such a man. Why him?

Seeing Chase move Emily looked over at him and frowned deeply, watching as he retrieved another bottle of fire whiskey from his pocket and took a huge gulp. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him more than he was but she couldn't sit by and watch him drink himself into oblivion. "Chase don't you think you've had enough?" she asked him softly, brushing a lock of hair from her face where it had been stuck due to the rain. Reaching out she moved to take the bottle from him, though her movements were slow, she didn't want to upset him but he needed to hear her, "Chase I have no idea what your going through I know but you need to stop...your Mum, Risa they need you back home..."

[Chase Connors]

"Chase don't you think you've had enough?"

Enough? Not enough more like. The damn stuff wasn't doing anything. He should be numb by now... he should be able to feel the haziness and blurred edges that came with drinking - he'd drank enough in his life to recognize the signs of drunken oblivion, and that was the one thing he wanted but just couldn't seem to find today.

He shook his head and took another mouthful of the liquid. It didn't even burn anymore...

It was only when Emily reached for the bottle that Chase seemed to snap out of it. "Chase I have no idea what your going through I know but you need to stop...your Mum, Risa they need you back home..."

He pulled the bottle out of her reach and was on his feet and moving away before she'd even finished speaking. "No." He swallowed hard. He hadn't said much all day apart from when she'd first come up here, and his throat still fight tight and his jaw locked in place making forcing any words out a challenge. He could think all the things he wanted to say in his head, but trying to voice them was something different, but he didn't want to hear this anymore. He didn't want to hear anyone try and tell him that what had happened was real, when he knew it wasn't.

Chase sighed and took another long gulp from the bottle, not even trying to make this one last. Maybe if he drank fast enough it'd actually start working. She shook his head and glanced over to Emily. "They don't." There were so many things he wanted to say racing through his mind. He wanted to tell her that he was find. That it was a lie. That his dad was alive. They were all at home laughing over the mistake. That everything would be right by morning. Her sympathy wasn't warranted - there was nothing wrong. But he could even organize those thoughts enough never mind force the words out.

"I'm not going..."

[Emily Prescott]

Chase pulled back from her, it was either that or he simply wasn’t willing to give up the bottle, either way she didn’t like it and couldn’t hide the flicker of surprise and hurt that crossed her face. Shaking her head she looked out across the horizon and away from Chase, searching for something she could do to help her boy-friend. He was in denial about his Father and who could blame him, it was to be expected but she still worried. Right now she was clueless as to what she could do to help him, to make him see that he needed to be at home with his Mother and sister.

He was on his feet, moving away from her and she barely suppressed a shiver before sneezing. The rain wasn’t letting up but she paid it no mind, Chase was her priority right now. The moment she turned her head to face him, he glanced at her and shook his head, "They don't." he replied, and with a soft sigh Emily stood. He was conflicted, struggling to accept this and as much as she hated to see him in pain, and as much as she wanted to reach out and comfort him she still resisted. Brushing her wet hair from her face she looked at Chase and nodded her head, “They do need you Chase...” again she was cut off before she could continue.

"I'm not going..."

It was the shock talking, he was in denial and she took a step towards him, though was hesitant. “Chase...you have to go. They’re your family and you need to be with them.” she said softly, struggling with the urge to move forward and wrap her arms around him. It was overpowering, the deep need she felt to take care of him, protect him was so strong. Shaking her head she forced away the tears that threatened to appear, she needed to be strong. This wasn’t about her, this was about the incredible man in front of her, he needed her to be strong. “Chase I have no idea what you’re going through and I know right now none of this seems real, but I l...” she paused, mentally kicking herself for the near slip. Taking another step towards Chase her eyes flickered to the bottle in his hands, ”...I want to help you. Please let me.” she finished, easily covering her slip.

[Chase Connors]

Chase didn't want to hear this. He really didn't want to hear this. It was like they had to pick sides and Emily had chosen the other one to the one that he was on or something... why did she believe it? She'd met his dad - she of all people should know that this wasn't true. It couldn't be true. So why was she finding it so easy to believe it?

“Chase...you have to go. They’re your family and you need to be with them.”

She stepped towards him as she spoke and Chase found himself staring at her face. What was that look supposed to be? Was it pity or something? Goddamnit! There was nothing wrong! Why did she have to look at him like he was some kinda of pathetic creature who needed sympathy? He almost felt like a damn animal too from the way she seemed to be over cautious of every movement she made. This sure as hell wasn't what he wanted right now.

“Chase I have no idea what you’re going through and I know right now none of this seems real, but I l...I want to help you. Please let me.”

As Emily stepped towards him Chase stepped back and shook his head. "It's not f*cking real. I don't need help." He tipped the bottle of firewhiskey back quickly and swallowed. "And stop looking at me like I'm f*cking crazy!"

Chase spun around towards the door that led off the roof. Damnit he didn't want to be here anymore. He didn't want to face this. He didn't want to see anymore of that look on her face or listen to anymore of Emily of all people telling him that this nonsense in the papers was real when it couldn't be. He just really wanted to be alone right now.

[Emily Prescott]

She was losing him. Emily could feel it. The denial he was experiencing was too strong; nothing she could say or do was going to make him accept what had happened. He had looked right at her and Emily suddenly began feeling like she had done something wrong. Was he angry with her? All she wanted to do was help, she didn’t pity him, and she loved him. Wasn’t her being her enough proof of that? Reaching out for him Emily stopped cold. He’d flinched away from her, almost recoiled; rejecting the comfort she’d wanted to give to him. There was no denying the sharp stab of pain she felt, Chase had never pulled away from her. Never.

."It's not f*cking real. I don't need help. And stop looking at me like I'm f*cking crazy!"

Emily flinched violently when he shouted at her and the harsh nature of his words. He was in pain. That was what she had to keep reminding herself to stop from getting upset. She wiped her cheeks furiously, glad it was raining so he couldn’t actually see the tears, before she moved forward as he turned towards the roof door.

She moved to stand in between him and the door, refusing to budge out the way. She was now effectively blocking his only way off and she’d be damned if she was going to step aside and let him go, especially in the state he was in now. Holding up her hands she indicated for him to stop where he was. “Chase please...I do not think you’re crazy...I think your struggling...” she said, stopping to brush her hair away from her face before continuing, “This is your Dad...and I wish I could fix this somehow, make it all not be true but Chase it is. It’s happening right now and your Mum and Risa need you.” she said softly, reaching out a hand to him again, wondering if he’d push her away once more.

[Chase Connors]

Chase just wanted to get off that roof and away. He couldn't deal with this right now and while he knew that any other person would probably want to be hearing the words Emily was saying in this kind of situation, he really didn't. She was talking about things like they were real, and had they been real, this was what he'd want, but it wasn't so her words were completely out of place and just making things worse.

She moved quickly in front of him again to block his only exit from the roof and she kept on talking, saying the things that he couldn't face hearing right now. There was no way to get past her without bumping into her or physically moving her out of his way. As much as he just wanted to get away right now, he didn't want to hurt her. Beneath everything else, she was still his girlfriend and he cared for her too much to hurt her over something like this. That still didn't make things any easier right now.

“This is your Dad...and I wish I could fix this somehow, make it all not be true but Chase it is. It’s happening right now and your Mum and Risa need you.”

"You're wrong. He's fine. They're fine. They don't need me there." Emily tried to reach for him again but he just... didn't want that right now. He just wanted to go back to being alone and left to work through things himself. He reached up quickly and grabbed her hand with his, using that contact to move them around so that he could get past her to the door so that he could get off the roof and away. "I love you and all that, but you're really not helping." He muttered as he released her hand and moved through the door. The words were out before he had time to think, though he hadn't realized exactly what it was that he'd said before fleeing down the stairs two at a time with just one fleeting glance behind him, leaving Emily on the roof alone where he'd spent most of his day.

Alcohol... It was time to return to the alcohol.

[Emily Prescott]

She wasn't getting through to him at all. Her boy-friend was so deep in denial, Emily really didn't know what would snap him out of it. Fear she could understand. He was blocking out the inevitable pain, he was protecting himself and it hurt her to think on it. All she wanted was to reassure him it wasn't real, that it had been some cruel elaborate joke thought up by the Slytherin's or it had simply been a mistake made by the papers. However no matter how much she wished for it, wished for it not to be true, the sad fact was, it was true, every painful part. Chase grabbed her outstretched hand and the momentary hope she'd had of him maybe reaching for comfort banished when he moved them around, so his path to the door was clear. He was leaving and short of binding him magically Emily was helpless to stop him.

"I love you and all that, but you're really not helping."

To say Emily was stunned would have been an understatement, she was floored. Her eyes widened a fraction, and she could only watch as Chase released her hand and left through the door she'd arrived through. He loved her? She wanted to cry, she wanted to do something other than just stand there. The words she'd so longed to hear from them, since admitting her feelings to his Mother, were tainted. He was drunk, grieving, looking for anyway off the roof. There was no denying the words had stirred something deep inside of her, whether they were true or not though had to be determined. They did however cause an inward ripple on her emotions. Pressing her hands to her stomach, Emily let out a small sob, all the emotions of the day crashing down on her in unrelenting waves. Closing her eyes she turned her back to the door and fell down to her knees, uncaring of the rain as she finally surrendered to her tears.