Morning

[Chase Connors]

April Connors

April didn't know what to think or do. Right now her world was still numb and she still couldn't even begin to process everything that had happened. She'd woken up the day before expecting a perfectly normal day, not two ministry officials appearing on her doorstep and telling her to sit down. Then the paper... the ministry people had hardly even finished explaining things to her when the daily prophet had arrived and that... oh god...

That was when Risa had started screaming. Rio was dead... Risa was screaming... April was numb trying to comprehend... and Chase? She didn't even know.

A note from the school had told her that they would send him home at first chance, and April had, for most of the day, sat watching the fireplace and awaiting her sons arrival, hugging her sobbing daughter close. But where was he? Or were they sending him by train? What if she was supposed to go to Central Station to pick him up? Oh god... she couldn't face that right now, she just couldn't. And she couldn't leave Risa either, and she was in no state to go anywhere.

Night had fallen and there was still no sign of Chase, and April was beginning to panic a little, wondering whether there was something she was supposed to do, but not knowing what. Right then though, she had to put her trust in the school to see him safely home to her, and concentrate on keeping Risa calm. The young girl's sobs were as hard for April as the news itself was.

Rio... All she wanted to do was just collapse into a ball of tears and despair and scream about how cruel the world was. She just wanted to sink into the darkness, but it was only for Risa that April didn't allow that to happen.

By morning, after a long, sleepless night, Chase still wasn't home, and she was worried. It seemed a trip to the school was perhaps in order... providing there was a way to get there without catching anyone's attention or anything... She'd already discovered a pile of letters from reporters on doormat asking for exclusive interviews to talk about her husband. What were these people? Were they really that cold and work-focused that they'd ask for interviews at a time like this? Just reading their neat scrawl and words made her feel physically sick.


Before eight, April had managed to encourage Risa to get up and dressed so that they could go to the school, but she didn't insist on breakfast like she usually would when Risa refused. Considering how April herself was feeling right now, food was the last thing she cared about, and she was sure the idea of it made Risa feel just as ill as it made her feel. So, by time the clock struck the hour, the two of them were disappearing into the fireplace and on their way to the school.

The hospital wing... why were they leading her past the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room and telling her that they needed to go to the hospital wing? Chase... was he hurt? What had he done? No... no no no...

There was something on the floor. Glass? Broken glass? It was unusual to see something like that lying around the school - it seemed most unsafe but... Chase. Somehow, she just knew it.

There was only one occupied bed in the room but April knew exactly what she'd find when she looked behind the curtains there, but still her stomach seemed to clench with... dread? She almost didn't want to see, to know. What if she'd under estimated things. She should have known Chase would turn to alcohol, but what it that wasn't all. That glass had been smashed outside... What if he was really hurt? What if he'd done something stupid with the broken glass? Oh god no... but the school would have told her, right?

Almost reluctantly April pulled the curtain back. Chase looked okay at least. He was asleep and there was a strong, lingering smell of alcohol, but other than that, he seemed to be... in one piece. Her imagination was just getting out of control and blowing everything out of proportion, but what did she expect at a time like this?

He looked so lost just lying there, but at least he was safe. He wasn't lost in the middle of Central Station or some other such madness or something, he was here, and he was okay.

Madam Pomfrey appeared for a few moments, offering her a weak smile before she disappeared back into her office again. It was Professor Sprout who stayed and explained what little she knew while Risa clung to April's arm, face buried in her arm.

It made April feel physically sick to think that Chase found out the way he did. It wasn't even as if he'd been alone somewhere with just his friends... he'd been in the middle of the Great Hall, and that must have been awful - finding out in the exact same way as the couple of hundred other students in the school did. Her poor boy...

Risa had read it in the paper too, and that had hurt April to know that she hadn't been given the chance to break it to her gently, but at least Risa had been alone in her room, not surrounded by hundreds of people she probably didn't even know the names of...

At that moment, all April wanted to do was pull Chase close and hug him, but she had the feeling that even if he'd been awake then, that wouldn't be an option. If she knew her son at all she knew he wouldn't want to believe any of this, which was probably why he'd turned to drink.

Next to her, Professor Sprout was still talking, but April wasn't concentrating on a word that she was saying. She knew she was responding, but if asked what either of them had said, she wouldn't have a clue. Her mind was focused entirely on this whole messy situation they were in, and she wondered exactly what her family had done to deserve this...

[Chase Connors]

Risa Connors

They were on their way to Hogwarts, she knew that much, but she couldn't really think about it. That was to say, everything was just a haze - a blur. Nothing was making sense. Time seemed to vary between super fast and super slow, and even super fast didn't seem to pass the day away with any speed. Nothing seemed normal, basically.

For so many years Risa had wanted to see Hogwarts and looks around inside the legendary castle, and now that she was actually there, she didn't care at all. She hardly even registered that that was where she was. Dead. The word was just echoing a mantra in her head. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

They needed to find Chase so he could go home with them, but Risa was kind of scared at that idea. Not of Chase or anything, but having him home. Then there'd be the three of them there, and it would be a taste of how things were going to be from now on... There would only just be the three of them.

But maybe it didn't have to be that way after all... Emily's face popped into her mind. She'd be here somewhere... and surely Chase would want her around. And if they could get Emily to go home with them too, then there wouldn't just be the three of them - so they wouldn't have to face that horrible emptiness of realizing just what a three person family would feel like. Then maybe others... family or something? Her cousin was at the school, wasn't he? How about him? And his mum... they could come over... the more the merrier - though there was nothing merry about this particular point in time, and it was hard to imagine that there'd ever be anything merry again.

Some woman was talking but Risa didn't listen to a single word that she was saying, not even when she said her name, so she didn't even know who she was. She was vaguely aware of her mother telling the woman Risa's name and telling her she'd be starting the school in September, but that was about it. Risa just held onto her mother's hand like if she let go she'd fall off this earth and into oblivion too, and she followed along with no idea where they were going, other than to find Chase. She didn't even care to look around her either.

Chase was sleeping... lucky him. Risa had laid in bed all night staring at the ceiling just feeling numb. She knew she hadn't been able to sleep at all. Every time she closed her eyes memories flashed back. She'd tried turning on the light and reading a book but she'd ended up reading the same line a couple of dozen times before she finally gave up and put the book down, resigning to just staring into nothingness and trying not to think.

The woman still spoke but Risa didn't want to listen. She just wanted to Chase to wake up so that they could all go home already. Wait, no she didn't. She wanted to find Emily and ask if she was coming too, but how could she go about that?

Risa looked up in time to see Chase stirring and she squeezed her mums hand. "Mum?" She muttered and she looked towards her brother. He didn't look too well...

[Chase Connors]

Chase Connors

Chase woke groggily with a steady pounding in his head. For a while, he just lay there, trying to gather his thoughts enough to remember what was going on. He could hear voices from somewhere close to him, but... that didn't make sense. It sounded like... a woman's voice... in his dorm? That wasn't right... Or was Emily here? No... that voice didn't sound like Emily at all, it sounded like...

His eyes shot open and he pushed upright, regretting it instantly as a wave of dizziness flooded him, along with memories. Yesterday... The article... his dad... the roof... alcohol... He remembered it all now, and he kind of wished he didn't. The hospital wing... of course. He'd been talking to his cousin and he'd ended up being made to sleep in here.

Movement caught his attention and he looked up. Something inside him froze and all words jammed in his throat. The voice and the person standing in front of him now... Why was she here? This was wrong, damn it...

[Chase Connors]

April Connors

"Mum?"

April glanced down at Risa and caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Chase had pushed himself up into a sitting position, though he looked more than a little worse for wear. He'd clearly sat up too fast and yesterdays alcohol consumption was back to bite, but he saw her standing there quickly enough.

There was a look that passed over his face when he saw her standing there, and that look was enough to tell her that her previous assumptions had been right. Chase didn't want to believe for a minute that any of this was true, and it showed right now. Her being here was conflicting with everything he was clearly trying to force himself to believe.

She felt Risa's grip on her hand loosen, and move away slightly, and she was aware of Sprout saying she'd been back soon, but all April could concentrate on in that moment was her son. "Chase..."

She stepped towards him, uncertain of how to act.

[Chase Connors]

Chase Connors

Chase shook his head and looked away, just like the day before, his throat feeling to constricted to want to allow him to speak. Yet at the same time, he didn't want to give her a chance to say anything either, because he knew just what she'd try to say, and he didn't want to hear it.

He didn't want anyone else trying to tell him that what happened yesterday was true, he still wanted to hold firm to his belief that todays paper would be apologizing for its mistake.

But then, why wasn't his dad here? Why wasn't he the one chattering away, a grin on his face and laughing as he talked about how much of a failure the newspaper is for what they did... He should be here... Maybe he was? Maybe he was just hiding somewhere... Maybe he'd told his mum and Risa to look sad so that he could jump out from behind the curtain or something and yell surprise or some such nonsense... he wouldn't put it past his dad to do something like that.

But he wasn't dead. He couldn't be. It just wasn't possible and it didn't make sense. What had his dad ever done to make him the target of death eaters? Or maybe he had done something... or said something... maybe they'd faked his death and he was hidden away somewhere till it was safe for him to come back, and his mum was here to fill him in on the details?

Or maybe his imagination was just getting way too out of control...

His mum took a few steps closer to him and said his name. Chase just shook his head and looked away. He didn't want to hear whatever it was, he was certain. With a bit of effort, he forced the words out. "Don't." There was so much more that he felt like he wanted to say in that moment, but that was about all he could manage. "Just don't..."

[Chase Connors]

April Connors

April could practically see the apprehension in her son's eyes, and it tore at her to see him turn away from her in the way that he did. She could hear the effort it took him to speak to her, a feeling she knew all to well at this time, but just seeing him this way was killing her inside. He deserved better than to find out in the way that he had, and she couldn't blame him if he wanted to take that anger and frustration out on her, however much she really hoped that he wouldn't... She needed him, but he didn't even want to acknowledge any of this.

"Chase... Sweetie... I know this is har-" He cut her off and she took a step backwards, surprised by the anger and denial in his voice as he said it, and it tore at her heart that little bit more again. How could she get him to believe her?

[Chase Connors]

Chase Connors

"No" Chase felt a wave of anger flood though him, though he didn't know whether it was aimed at her or just at the world in general. How could she honestly stand there and try and tell him that all of this was true when it clearly wasn't, and there was obviously some sort of mistake. "It's not hard 'cos it's not real."

Chase saw his mum flinch back but thought nothing of it, just swung his legs out of the bed and tried to push unsteadily to his feet, wobbling as his vision darkened under a wave of dizziness, and his blood pounded audibly though his ears. He didn't want to be here and having to listen to this, he really didn't. Why was it so hard for people to understand that he just wanted to be alone till all of this blew over and the truth got out?

[Chase Connors]

April Connors

There. He'd said it. He'd just confirmed what she'd been so sure of and he'd just directly said the words out loud, and with so much force and anger behind them that she knew that he really, really wanted to believe that it was true. Somewhere deep down he had to know that it wasn't, but he wasn't willing to believe it just yet. Again, it tore her apart to see how much her kids were hurting because of this but she didn't have the foggiest idea what to do to make things easier for them.

Chase needed to accept that what had happened wasn't just a sick prank of some sort, but April didn't know what she could do or say to make him believe it. She didn't even want to believe it herself though she knew that there'd been no mistake.

Before April had the change to say anything Chase was already standing up and she had the feeling that he just wanted to run from reality, though the dizziness from his hangover kept him swaying in place. She stepped forward and reached for him before he feel. "How much did you drink, Sweetheart?"

[Chase Connors]

Chase Connors

His vision went black and he swayed dangerously on the stop until arms grabbed at him to steady him and he heard his mother's voice again. His automatic reaction was to fling her arms away from him and just get away from where he was cornered at that moment. "Not enough. Leave me alone." He shoved roughly past her and ran for the door, even as his head pounded and his knees threatened to buckle under him.

He couldn't stay there. He couldn't stay around her. If he stayed in that hospital room any longer then they'd try and tell him that it had all been real and that his dad really was dead, and they'd try and making believe it, and he just wasn't ready to do that yet. He got out of there as quickly as he could and just kept going, only slowing when he was at the bottom of the grand stair case so he could stop and look around, wondering where best to go now. He could go to the dorm and hope that it was empty... or he could go outside and find somewhere to hide out there?

He could tell from where he stood that the weather outside was downright miserable, which meant that there was less chance of bumping into anyone out there... but if he went to his dorm he'd be able to grab another bottle of firewhiskey, but he risked seeing people in the common room... He'd been lucky enough that there was no one around where he was right then.

He sighed. He didn't want to risk people, so he headed for the door, sans alcohol.