A Little Q&A (James/Lily) - COMPLETE!

[James Potter]

James sighed. "You don't know what you want but you do know what you don't want - me. Simple. This-" He pointed between them, "This isn't it."

He'd liked Lily for longer than either of them new. It had taken him ages to realize that he liked her in the first place, so he had no idea when it really began. He wanted her, but it just seemed that the older they got the less chance there was of it happening.

He pressed that soft kiss to her lips before he moved away from her, knowing that continuing what had being going on could only make things worse for them. "You do acknowledge it. With insults. That's my point - even just a few days ago..." He sighed and looked away. Things like that didn't change like this, but he really didn't want to get in another argument over it so he didn't go on.

Even though he'd moved away, Lily moved closer again before she spoke. James listened to what she had to say, but he found it hard to relate. He'd grown up knowing that he'd end up at Hogwarts, whereas Lily? Of course things had been different. She'd expected to grow up and go to some normal muggle high school and a normal muggle college... or however it was their system worked. She was thrown into this world with no idea of what to expect. What could he say? Their eyes were locked for a few moments before Lily looked down at the floor.

"What you're saying, then, is that you don't like what makes me, me? Who I am. I won't just change, Lily. If you don't like it then..." He shrugged, unsure of how to continue. Then what? Then don't pretend like there could ever be anything here? She wasn't, it was him that wanted something. If anyone needed a rain check right now, it was him. "I don't want to talk about Snape, Lily. He's your 'friend' - I get it. He'll never be mine. There are things you don't, and can't know about, and you'll never understand." James glanced to the door and back. "I'm not in the mood to argue right now." He thought about saying more but decided against he, just heading towards the door.

He could hear her footsteps behind him, much quicker than his own in the state he was in right now. "Not our wands, Lily. Yours. We've never talked because you've always forced yourself to see the worst in me and not let yourself talk to me." James stopped walking and half turned to look at her. "Then forget the kissing and the stupid games... Start with friends. Nothing more. If you can't be friends with me then... what's the point?" He trailed off again before shaking his head slowly to clear it and starting towards the door again. He wasn't the one who had a problem with her or knowing her, she had the problem with him. If she wanted to be friends then it was pretty much up to her to stop seeing the worst in him at every chance he got.

James was almost at the door when Lily's hand slid into his. "I guess we're heading the same way anyway, right?" If his head wasn't feeling like it was going to explode he might have laughed then, but he wasn't risking that right now. He sighed. "All I really want to do is get to bed and sleep right now. I think I might have concussion or something..." He reached up with his free hand and touched it to the bottom of his ear, the familiar stick substance he felt there just confirming what he'd just said. He had concussion alright...

James gave her hand and light squeeze as they reached the door. What a night this had been...

[lilyevans]

She sighed as she looked at him. It was hard to define how she was feeling, or rather what she wasn’t feeling. “Don’t presume to tell me what it is I want, or I don’t. It only ends with dire consequences, you should know that by now.” She’d said as he had kissed her again. “Why wouldn’t I insult someone who went after someone that I care about? I’m sorry. But that’s part of the problem between you and I. What do you expect from me? I mean really.....I can’t turn my back on someone that has never given me a reason to. He and I have had a strong bond ever since we met, and it’s something that not even us being in separate houses has put a stop to it. The bond we have, it’s something that I can’t put words to. Growing up in a muggle home, there was never any prejudice. It was just us, being who we are. Mom and Dad were more than willing to accept him into our house, even though I knew from the start it’d never be reciprocatated. Which was fine by me.”

She sighed as she watched his body language. “It’s not about the pranks or whether or not why you do what you do. That’s besides the point. The point of the matter is that-that I’ve known that no matter what I do, that it’s not going to make any difference. That you’re going to target Severus and everyone else who you think you can. Simply because you can. Simply because there’s no one to stop you. I don’t expect you or the others to be his friend. I don’t. Becauase I knew from first year that that wasn’t going to happen. It’s-I can’t just watch as something happens to him, not here. Not now. Not ever. But with that said, I don’t-I don’t want to fight with you. I’m sick of all the fighting. It’s not doing either of us any good.”

Arguing with him was just a waste of time, a waste of breath. “Yes, I’ve raised my wand, in defense. There’s a difference. I don’t raise it to hurt others I do it to defend. Something I’ve done all my life, ever since before I can remember. And how was I supposed to talk to you when you repeatedly target someone that I care about? My God, James, think for a minute. Most guys that want a girl to be with them don’t target the ones in the girl’s life that actually matter to them. I don’t just see the worst in you, or in anyone for that matter. I never have. I can handle being friends with you, the question is can you handle it? Being just friends? Because we both know you want more than that from me.” She had squeezed his hand as she held it.

“Come on, then.” She sighed as she looked at him. He was cute, in a certain goofy prankster kind of way. She’d always known that but that did not mean she was ready to throw in the towel so to speak and give him a chance. Dating that is. But for now she could handle being friends. Until he gave her a reason not to be. “Sorry, that you’ve got the concussion. Wish there was something I could do, to help. To get rid of it for you.” She was only saying that because well she was the reason it had happened in the first place.

“Once I drop you off at the common room, I’ll probably go find something useful to do. Maybe grab a book and go up to the Astronomy Tower and read a while. Since this whole night’s been something else entirely.” She was feeling something for him, at least a little bit but wasn’t ready to admit it. Probably wouldn’t any time soon either, even if asked. She continued to hold his hand while they walked thoguh, mostly it was to make sure he was steady as she would in fact catch him if he fell.

[James Potter]

"I can handle being friends with you, the question is can you handle it? Being just friends? Because we both know you want more than that from me.”

"A friend is better than an enemy, right?" He squeezed her hand back. Could he just forget that he liked her and make all the feelings go away? No. Could he try and push them to the back of his mind and just work on a friendship with her? He could try.

James looked at her when she mentioned the concussion. "If you didn't hex me, then there's no reason to apologize for it." Something still niggled in the back of him mind and made him wonder whether she actually had or not. "All I need is to go to bed and sleep it off for a while. I'll drop by the hospital wing in the morning." Sleep sounded like the nicest option right now.

James looked to Lily curiously. "Is that what you do with your time when you're on duty? It's after curfew as it is." She had one thing right though, this night really had been something a little unusual. Who'd have thought...

[lilyevans]

“Yes. But you don’t want me as your enemy. Because if you think I’m bad when I’m defending someone I care for, think what it’s like for those that I can’t stand. I don’t hex others simply because I can. But if I do, it’s.....because I have no other choice. As far as us being friends, I know it’s....not going to change how you feel about me. That part I have always known. But you can at least try.” She said as she looked at James and continued to hold his hand. It felt right, almost natural to be doing so.

“Trust me, if I had hexed you, you would have known it. For one thing you wouldn’t be standing right now. You’d still be laying down on the floor. I know but still. I know what it’s like to get a concussion and it’s not the best feeling.And you’ll get to go to your bed as soon as we can get you into our common room and from there you’ll be on your own. To make your way into the boy’s dormitory.” She grinned as she looked at him. He was being a pain of course. But that was to be expected. She had liked where this night had taken them but she was still so confused.

They nearly had done things tonight that well she was sure he would have liked, and the kissing hadn’t been all that bad, as she’d had better. She chuckled lightly. “Yes, I am well aware of what time it is, thank you very much. The book’s for afterwords. I take one with me so when I’m done with my prefect responsibilities and I can’t sleep, I find myself a place to read. Gives me a chance to think about things rationally not to mention responsibly. And you’d better get that head of yours checked out in the morning. I’m sure it needs a complete examination, after tonight.”

She smirked as she was teasing somewhat. They could figure things out later, as of course the next time they met well all bets were off as to what happen but for now their last kiss was on her mind. Who would have thought that this would be where they were going to end up, as friends? What did that even mean anyway? Did it mean he’d lay off of Severus for a while? Because if he didn’t, their truce, their friendship was over anyway. “One thing is for certain if you’re smart, and you want this to work out to your benefit, you’d lay off of Severus....to leave him alone. I will do anything for a friend, and knowing you and Severus both, I'll be put in the middle more times than I can even begin to count.”She squeezed his hand once more.

[James Potter]

"I never said I wanted you as my enemy, Lily. I've had enough of the arguments we've had over all these years as it is." He was sick of the fighting. And so if he had to pretend like he didn't have feelings for her, fine, that's how it would be.

James managed to roll his eyes. "If I'm that much of a bother to you then leave me when we get to the top of the stairs on the 7th floor. I'll be fine getting inside on my own." He was walking just fine on his own, even getting used to the slightly light-headed and woozy feeling left from the concussion. Holding Lily's hand was a comfort, not a necessity.

"And I will. I'll stop by on the way to breakfast... Tell her I fell out of bed or something." He couldn't help but grin. Chances were Madam Pomfrey wouldn't believe him whatever he said.

Again, Lily turned things back to Snape again and James sighed. If it was just a case of him being a jerk to Snape, fine, but that's not how it was. Despite what he'd said earlier she still didn't want to believe that Snape could be just as cruel in return. Okay, fine, he wouldn't go out of his way to prank Snape, but if the snake started on Sirius again? All bets were off. "You defend your friends and I defend mine. It's simple. I won't target him, but I'm not promising he won't get hexed if he starts insulting Sirius again." He was making that quite clear too. The marauders were his best friends and nothing was ever going to change that, not even Lily. He'd defend them to the end.

[lilyevans]

“I don’t want you as my enemy either. I’m sick of the fighting. We’ve done it ever since we’ve known eachother and it’s getting old fast.” She said as she held his hand while they were talking. It felt good against hers. And it made her so completely confused at the same time.

“I’m just giving you a hard time, can’t you take a joke? After all you’re the king of them aren’t you?” She said with a small grin of her own. “No, I’m not leaving you up on the seventh floor simply because you may be able to walk on your own. I know you don’t need me to escort you up there, but it’d make me feel better knowing you’re up there and you’re alright.” She said as she squeezed his hand, as her fingers were interlocked with his.

“Yeah I highly doubt Madam Pomfrey would believe that. You’ll have to get a bit more creative, if you expect her to believe it, not that it matters.” She had enjoyed this evening. It felt like they should have done something like this a long time ago, of course if that’d been the case well Ferret would have had a fit. “Good, that’s all I ask. Bloody hell, I’ll hex him myself if I see him going after one of you. I’m sick and tired of being put in the middle of this. And I know it’s not my fight when it concerns all five of you boys, but I can’t help it. I’ve defended him for so long that it’s become almost second nature. And Severus is going to get the same warning I gave you, though he’s just as stubborn as my big sister is. So without a doubt he probably won’t listen to me.” She said with a smile as she looked at him.

Truth was James was not that bad of a guy, not that good, but not that bad either. Severus was the one friend that she’d always had, both at home and at Hogwarts. She would defend him, anyone she truly cared about, or loved fierecely, and that included family and friends.

She kept her fingers interlocked with his. “I guess I’ve taken sides not because I’m wanting to go against my own housemates, as that’s the least of what it’s about. But because I’m so used to helping him out, especially at home. When you spend as much time as I do around Severus, a bond forms. It’s as strong as your bond with your mates.” She wasn’t about to tell him that she was having doubts regarding where Severus’ loyalty completely was.

Especially because of his friends within his own house, which of course Severus already knew she didn’t trust them. “I just hope I won’t have to get into the middle of an arguement between you guys. As I will have to raise my wand on someone and it won’t be a good thing. But the only one I'd be using it on, would be whomever started it.” She smirked as she looked at him. Of course, it would depend on the one that started it.

[James Potter]

"And yet he never does..." James muttered under his breath, not loud enough, he didn't think, for Lily to be able to decipher. He'd always been on Lily's had side for the things that went down between him and Snape even when it wasn't him that started it. Snape wouldn't do anything stupid like that when Lily was around so James was always made out to look the bad guy. He was sick of it, too.

"I get that you're close, I just don't get how you can turn a blind eye to everything he does..." Before Lily even had a chance to respond James turned and stepped in front of her. "Let's just not talk about this anymore, okay?"

He'd moved too fast and his head was woozy again. As expected though, Lily still spoke about Severus and James could feel himself mentally bashing he already physically battered head off a wall. "Next time there's an argument, hear out both side before your start blaming me. Now please can we not talk about him?" He gave her a look. He was really sick of talking about Slytherin now.

[talls]

Ok, this had gone on long enough. She needed the Hospital Wing. Now. She felt like puking. Groaning softly, she punched her nose. Groaning again, she rolled out of the closet, like she had been in there longer than the time she had been.

"H-Hey....would someone mind t-taking me to the hospital wing?" she groaned. She grabbed Lily and dragged her out the door. She moved towards the hospital wing, resisting the urge to puke her guts out.

"Next time. When I say "Hex him as soon as he comes in the door", you hex him them! I actually like the guy now and we have no one to throw in the lake. And! I am about to puke my guts out..." She groaned as they reached the hospital wing.

"And if anyone asks, I was locked in the closet for several hours."