A Little Q&A (James/Lily) - COMPLETE!

[lilyevans]

Sixteen years ago, her life began, oh the good old days. The days when life was nice and calm and relativiely normal. Her muggle family had been there for her, through thick and thin, except when it came to Petunia.

Her big sister was an obnoxious girl, who was, as Severus once put it, extremely jealous of her. James Potter was an arrogant, toe-rag, in most circumstances. Tonight however she was seeing a completely different side of him and was extremely curious about it.

Why was it she was seeing him in a new light? Could it be possible that there were underlying feelings for her fellow Gryffindor?! Impossible! That’d be like saying she was in love with her best mate.

And that fact alone was petrifying. Severus was a God send yes, but nothing like that. He had been there for her when she had needed him, especially after the fall out with her sister. Everything she had done, everything she had said was done so for a reason. She was weighing her own options, as she knew how things were going to be if she followed the path Ferret had put out for her. Or if she followed her own heart.

For better or worse she was going to have to let this play out, even though the consequences of it were more than.....what she had bargained for. The fact that clothes were being removed, it made her nervous. The idea of switching out with Ferret with all of this going on, drove her crazy.
She wanted to get out of the room, to just disappear without either one of them knowing about it but that was unlikely to happen. The truth was, she wished she was anywhere but where she was, in a closet watching one of her best friends seduce the little insuffereable boy who had wanted her...all to himself. She prayed that when the time came for them to switch that she could make it as painless as possible as she knew it was going to be extremely awkward for her, especially when after their first kiss by the Charms class, and now this, he was bound to ask questions, questions she wouldn’t be able to answer, honestly that is.

From what she had seen of Potter, he had a romantic, side to him, passionate as well...but that wasn’t enough. Not for her. She knew that what Ferret wanted her to do, switch places with her was hard, but she knew she had to do it, no matter how she felt about it.

She didn’t want to hurt him, or herself, but it was all going to burn...one way or another. She was twisted on the inside as part of her disliked him with a burning passion and yet....seeing this sweeter side made her want to reach out to the guy. How impossible did he have to make her life? How could he get to her in such a way when no one else was able to? She knew that deep down she could be happy with Severus, more than anyone else....but seeing this side of him, made her wonder if there was something worth living for, something worth putting all the effort into.

There was never a right time to say what it was in her mind she felt for herself. She had to figure out what she wanted or needed in life. And when it came to love, she was clueless.

She did not hate Potter, not outright, but she disliked him for his actions, for his pranks, for his ill humor...a humor that she would never understand. He was childish, but at the same time he was able to stand for what he had believed in, what he had wanted all along. She could see how fiercely determined he was when he spoke about her....she did not want to feel like a bad girl, for refusing his advances but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right to force an issue when she knew it was not the right time to do it.

Truth was Ferret was not the only one who had suggested that she and Potter would make a good match together, but she hadn’t wanted to see it. She hadn’t wanted to believe in what they had to say. To be in a situation like this, where she would be in arm’s length from the one man who had ridiculed and picked on her best friend, it sickened her, but at the same time it was also very....intoxicating.

She wanted to see more of what Ferret would do, and how far it’d go, between those two before she took Ferret’s place. She knew the moment that happened, her body would become not her own.

As she would have to go beyond her comfort zone to do what it was that Ferret had done. She didn’t want to switch it up because she knew if she did, that James might know the truth, that it truly wasn’t her that he had been getting almost intimate with....the only major thing they hadn’t really done yet was shag. To sleep with one another.

And that was something neither Ferret or herself would be willing to do.

[talls]

Ferret smirked and nodded. "Its a deal," she purred. As his fingers gently crossed her cheek, she had to listen to Lily's ranting thoughts. Geeze, that girl could think more than a mad scientist at a evil being convention.

But she listened to James talk about the things he loved about Lily. And most were not physical in the way of being sexual. But the small bits that made Lily, Lily.

But at his question, Ferret blushed and smirked. She bit her lip ever so slightly, smiling coyly at the boy in front of her. She made mental notes to herself, reminding herself what received the best reactions.

"A little bit more," she purred. "Then I will be happy..."

[James Potter]

James laughed softly. He should have known that she would ask to know more. "I believe you offered a trade in for one kiss for an item of clothing?" He reached for her hands and pulled them towards the first button on his shirt and smiled, encouraging her to start working on the buttons. "I choose this piece."

He waited until a couple of the buttons were undone before continuing. "Hmm... I like how independant you are...how loyal you are to your friends... and how quick-witted you are in a verbal sparring - you've almost caught me off guard a time or two and that's not easy to do..." He looked up at her face and reached out to put his hands on her hips while he spoke. "I like how you're confident but you dont boast it, and the way you dont let other peoples' opinions bother you. I like the way you take control of situations and dont let bias rule you... like with your prefect duties. And while I know I dont usually see it, I like the kind, loving heart that you keep in there."

Before she had a chance to reply to him he leaned in quickly and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss, not about to pass up the chance while he had it.

[lilyevans]

Of course things were simple as she knew that it was dangerous what they were up to. All of his answers were playing over and over again in the young girl’s mind. Everything James had said were true, and nothing was overly sexualized either. She was satisified for once with the answers that James had given her....or rather Ferret. She watched as he took off his shirt, which was quite shocking as she didn’t anticipate that. But oh how did this put her in a situation she had never anticipated. Everything that James was talking about sounded almost romantic.

And she knew she had to do something as Ferret had suffered enough, didn’t she? Putting her wand in her pocket she knew what she had to do and the time was now. There was nothing she woudln’t do to make sure that her life ran as smoothly as possible, no pranks aside.

She knew that if she was going to do this that she was going to have to take into account that she had to take off her shirt, which she did so quietly. She also tugged on her skirt, to put it to the length that her friend had hers. However she had managed to do all of this silently.

She knew that the moment that she came out of the closet that all hell would break apart. James wanted her and she was so completely confused that she was doing this in the first place. But it’d make James happy, that much she was sure. She was in a panic as she got ready. How was she supposed to well....do this?! She knew the risks alone were bad....and knew that if James tried anything once the switch was complete that she’d hex him into oblivion but part of her really wanted to trust him, to know more about him....and to get the same reaction from him that Ferret had gotten.

"I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes. A little righteous and too proud!" She thought to herself as she looked out of her hole in the wall. To see that James had kissed Ferret, on some level she was jealous. Though of what she wasn’t sure. What she knew was that she wanted to be out there. To be in a different situation than she was currently in. Perhaps on some level she was looking for excitement or change.

She wasn’t sure exactly but what she did know was that it was going to be unusual for her to do what she was about to do. This did not mean she was excited about what she was about to do, but she took several small breaths as she was hesitant about getting out there.

She thought she was going to have a panic attack as ashe was as ready as she was going to get, clothing wise as at least. She did not speak as she was sure that Ferret could hear her panicked thoughts in her head, as she was truly afraid and freaked out. She was sure this was a mistake on all levels what she was about to do....but she knew she couldn’t put it off any longer as she had taken over twenty minutes in muggle time to get her to the point she was at now....though in their time it seemed like an eternity!

“Come on Lily, be brave...you’ve got to face this....come on you can do it.....don’t be a chicken! Ferret’s done all she can to help you now you’ve got to get out there and finish what she started!” She thought to herself trying to get herself mentally prepared for what was about to happen.

Her heart was racing just at the sheer thought of going out there....of being unprepared for what might happen. She knew she would most likely end up snogging him as she had seen how James had reacted to Ferret and that was enough to show her how he felt....what he wanted. There was something about James Potter that drove her completely crazy and she wasn’t sure what that was. He was still the irresponsible, unreasonable, and insuffereable arrogant-toe rag that he had always been in her eyes and yet now for some strange reason she was seeing him as something else.....and it scared her!

She then pulled the wand out of her pocket....and braced herself for her next choice of action. “Please God help me. Please help me do this.” She thought to herself as she let her wand face the two of them and cast the spell to freeze James. She waited for it to take affect before she honestly stepped out of the closet and revealed her half clothed self to either James or Ferret.

Heaven help her!

[talls]

Ferret let out a gasp of relief as James fell to the floor. Almost immediatly, she shifted back into her normal form, face a bit pale. That had been one of the longest times she had held a form and it was draining.

"Geeze Lil! What took you so long?!" Ferret demanded. She felt sick, not from the interaction with James, but a side effect of holding Lily's form for so long and having to flirt and having a mental connection with Lily through then entire ordeal.

As she slid from the desk, she staggered, her legs feeling weak. She gave a soft glare to Lily as she retreated into the closest. "Now go over there and be sexy! If he asks why you stunned him, tell him it was Flitch and you paniced. Apologize and go back to being sexy!" She groaned. "I need to rest..."

[James Potter]

James felt his whole body freeze and he had no idea what was happening. Why couldn’t he move? Had she used a spell on him? Why would he not be surprised to find that Lily had made things look like things were actually going okay, then as soon as she had what she wanted, do a runner? He should have expected this, shouldn’t he? His whole body was frozen but he could feel himself start to sway backwards.

”Geeze Lil! What took you do long?!”

What was she talking about? Or rather, who was she talking to? Was that another voice he just heard? What the hell was goin-

Darkness swept over him and for a while, James knew no more. The damned desk he just connected with was going to leave a nice bump on his head though, that much he was sure of.

[lilyevans]

It wasn’t that she was ready for anything like this to begin with. But she had to do what she had to do. Though from her closet she could see Ferret transform into her own self, which made her smile but she was a bit uncomfortable coming out of the closet so to speak. But before long it felt as though she was dragged out of the closet...and then she looked at Ferret. “Sorry. I didn’t realize it took as long as it did.”

She whispered, barely audible. Though the mind connection they shared Ferret should still be able to pick up what she had just said. She felt guilty for having made Ferret stay in the form she was in for so long. She only nodded when she heard Ferret say to be sexy and appologize. It was weird. Too weird. She couldn’t help but smirk when Ferret kind of retreated into the closet. She didn’t know why, but she felt somewhat bad for using magic on James but it was what needed to be done.

“Sorry.” She said looking down upon James’ frozen body.

She hoped he would come out of it sooner or later. As there was alot she wished she could explain. But the most important thing was she needed to appologize for hurting him if that was even possible. Sighing slightly, she kept her eyes peeled.

She bent down next to James’ body on the ground and put a hand on his back. She was going to help him up when the time came up for it. She never thought she’d feel as guilty as she did, about how she had felt toward him, though this did not mean she was considering dating hm, she was just open to new possibilities of maybe getting along with him. But she had to admit she liked what she heard from him tonight. But she couldn’t just get all soft and mushy on him now or he’d well hell he’d suspect something. How awkward were things going to be between them after this night was over?

How would things be between them? Would they be able to talk without hexing one another or would something else happen? She hesitated as she knew what she had to do. She had to wake James’ up. “James? James can you hear me?” She asked, her voice sounding panicked. She truly was in a panic, because she didn’t know how long the freeze would hold.

“Please...get up....” She whispered and hoped that he wouldn’t flip out on her when he did finally get up. She tried to move him, but she didn’t know how that’d work, when he finally came to. She really hadn’t intended for all of this to happen. For him to spill his guts so to speak and in the end only get hexed or frozen. Normally if she hadn’t heard what she did, she wouldn’t have thought twice if the situation had come into her hexing him....it would have been all too easy...natural even.

She knew it would take time to even consider that the two of them could be any more than what they already were....arch enemies. In her heart she felt like she’d misjudged him and that was bad enough.

It was just she felt even more confused because this was the guy that was constantly ridiculing and pranking her best friend. How could she see the good in that? But did it all even out? His good side and his bad side? The answer wasn’t so clear to the fifteen year old but it was one she would have to figure out for herself, one way or another. She had always been taught to take things slow and don’t rush things that good things come to those who wait.

[James Potter]

James gradually became aware of the fact that there was a voice above him, and he was slowly becoming more and more aware of his surroundings, and his own body too. He could feel the cold floor beneath him and he could feel a throbbing already starting in his head from when he'd hit the table going down.

Speaking of which... what the hell had happened? One minute he'd been fine and kissing Lily, and the next his whole body had frozen and he'd fell backwards, unable to break his fall.

Even now something still felt off about it all. He tried to move his fingers but it didn't feel like they were moving. Or his toes when he tried to move them. What about his knees could he bend those? Nope. Was that because he just didn't think he was moving? Because he couldn't move? Was his brain and his body just not working on the same wavelength yet?

“James? James can you hear me?”

That voice... he recognized that voice. Lily. Was she still here? But hadn't he heard another voice before? Who's voice had that been?

Something changed and it was suddenly like a weight had been lifted and he could breathe again, and his body... he could move. What the hell had been happening? He sucked in a deep breath of air and coughed, wincing at the painful throbbing in his head as the voice spoke again. He groaned. God he hadn't felt pain like this since he'd took a bludger to the head one match...

James raised a hand and rubbing his eyes wearily, trying to get his eyes to open and stay open. He could see Lily hovering just over him as he blinked against both the brightness of the lights, and the blaring pain in the back of his head.

"Wha- what just happened? Who was talking? What's going on?"

James tried to push himself upright but the way his head was spinning viciously was making it difficult, and making his stomach roll uneasily too.

[lilyevans]

She knew sooner or later she would have to explain things and it scared her. It wasn’t easy to hex James, but she had done it because she had no other choice. It was the only way to make sure Ferret wasn’t exposed for what had happened. She leaned down to try and get close to him, to let him know that she was still there, right there with him.

Of course she’d have to explain why she had hexed him and how he was on the floor but she would blame Filch for that.

She looked just like Ferret had, when Ferret had been playing her. She did feel guilty for hexing him but it was what had to be done. She had to trust her instincts, to trust that she was making the right choices. When he was frozen she wanted to help. Wanted to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone. Alone was the last thing he needed to be.

“James, students outside, is what you heard. I don't know how you ended up on the floor, one minute we were just...talking...and snogging and the next thing I knew you were on the floor. Are you alright?" Her tone would show she was truly concerned about him, and how he was actually doing. She could not believe for a moment that this was where things had ended up. Was she really starting to care for the guy? It made no sense to her at all.

“Can you get up? Here let me help you.” She said as she grabbed a hold of his hand, willing to help him up. It was the least she could do for what she had done to him. She just hoped he would understand in time. She was wondering whether she could go through what Ferret had started, so she took a deep breath. She had to try, didn’t she? “So where were we?”

She asked in an almost seductive tone, waiting to see if he remembered to what extent they were at before the hex had occurred. She had to play the part well. She hesitated, knowing he had to either get to his feet or she had to be at his level, which wouldn’t be too hard given she was bent down to his level as it was anyway. As it were if he wanted, he could easily get her to sit down next to him. Part of her was confused as to what extent that could happen between the two of them. If they would get close like she and Severus were. Or even closer than that.

[James Potter]

James shook his head, confused, and moved so that he was in a sitting position, hand rubbing the back of his head where a lump was already forming. "No...I... I couldn't move and you... you looked behind you to talk to someone... you said something about something taking a long time..." Snippets of what had happened before he'd fallen were starting to come back to him now and it only confused him more. "It wasn't students. It was your voice..."

Lily asked him if he could get up and grabbed his hand. James shook his head slowly. "Not yet. Don't want to try and move yet..." Every thing was still a bit spiny and hazy right now, and his head was beginning to feel like there was someone with a hammer and chisel bashing holes in his skull. Chances were that if he tried to stand up he'd just end up falling over again.

James looked up at Lily. "Did you... hex me?"

Wasn't that the first thing he'd thought of before when he realized he couldn't move? Right when he'd gone in to kiss her he suddenly couldn't move... that couldn't just be a coincidence, could it? He wouldn't be surprised if she had but... he couldn't deny the disappointment.

"So where were we?"

James looked up at her with a bit of shock no doubt showing on his face. The tone in which she said that... bloody hell... For that, he was sure he could try and push the pain from his head for a little while. He didn't want to pass up this moment - not if he could make it last longer. It was like being in a little bubble or something.

James reached up with one hand and let his fingers brush lightly down her cheek, her skin soft to touch. Slowly, his fingers trailed back up and wove into her hair gently, tugging ever so slightly to encourage her close to him again. He didn't say anything, just locked his eyes with hers.

[lilyevans]

She wanted to smirk but didn’t, as now was not the time or the place to get into this. Whatever this was. “Well, I think you hit your head a little too hard. I didn’t say anything....my voice? Are you sure you’re not hearing things Potter?” She asked as she looked at him. She had to cover what she had done somehow. She still held onto his hand even when he had said that he didn’t want to get up and move yet. “No, don’t be silly. Of course I didn’t. I ought to have, but I didn’t. I couldn’t....” She smiled warmly at the guy.

Truth was she ought to explain it to him but now was not the time or the place for that. She wanted them to at least talk about things. Sure she did not love him or like him like he clearly felt for her, but whether that would change was another story. Right now she just wanted to be his friend, no jokes, no pranks, but just like they were now.

And when he reached up and let his fingers touch her cheek, as lightly as he had, it sent chills down her spine. And then when he moved his hands up into her hair, a chill went down the back of her neck, as it was both scary and yet fascinating. It felt like everthing was going in slow motion.

Just looking into his eyes, it was a different experiance than one that Ferret seemed to have gotten. It was real, genuine. Part of her was ready for whatever Potter had in mind for them.

Although she didn’t know where this was going to lead to, this was something she had to take control of. James was an arrogant toe-rag and yet here she was almost giving in to him. It felt strange, as though someone had come in and taken control over her. It was as though she was unable to control herself, as when he tugged her closer, her usual instinct would have been to turn and run the other way but she couldn’t. It was like a magnet was drawing her closer to him, something she didn’t understand. When they were done today, it was sure to be an awkward encounter the next time. Looking into his eyes, she saw how kind he was, how loving. But it wasn’t enough for her to take the bait, to suddenly want to be his girlfriend, he’d have to work at it. He looked as though he wanted to kiss her and part of her wanted to kiss him too, but was it perhaps taking Ferret’s example too literally? After all this was something she’d done, for Ferret’s sake, so she wouldn’t have to spend all afternoon entertaining Potter in such a way.

His lips were drawing her closer to him. Everything about this moment was not what she had anticipated.

Those eyes were drawing her closer to him and she was unsure if that was what she wanted to have happen. She awaited for him to make the next move, knowing he’d probably snog her and she didn't know how she'd take it.

[James Potter]

James didn't know whether to believe her or not. If she hadn't hexed him then what the heck had happened? He had definitely been frozen or something because he wouldn't have just fallen over on his own, and it only seemed to happen when he'd moved to kiss her.

And even now something seemed different. It was like there were cogs turning in her head and uncertainty seemed to be flickering across her face. She was acting nothing like how she had been before. "Was that even you? He asked with a bit of a laugh and a slow shake of his head. It was like he was faced with a completely different Lily Evans. Before she was so... relaxed and flirty. Now? She seemed uptight and uncertain. He actually did have to wonder whether he was even talking to the same person or not.

Lily was moving slowly closer to him but it didn't appear like she was actually going to make the move. Something had changed all of a sudden and... and he wasn't sure about this any more. James sighed and looked away. "What's going on? Why the sudden change? You're not acting like you just were. I want the truth."

He reached for his shirt but didn't move to put it on, that bit of movement alone had been enough to start his head screaming in protest again.

[lilyevans]

She looked at him as she looked at him, okay now was the time where she had to come clean. He was cute. There was no mistake about that. However, it didn’t matter. There was no way that this would make things right. He kept her wanting to stay there. And she didn’t understand why all of a sudden he had this pull with her. It made no sense. She knew she had to do something, but she just didn’t know what. Then when he asked if it was even her, she couldn’t help but chuckle. “And who else would it have been? Unless somehow I have a twin in this castle that I’m not aware of.” She couldn’t help but shake her head as this was ridiculous.

“Come on. I’m here aren’t I, and so are you, so let’s make the most of it.” She said as she moved even closer to him.

Her tone had a seductive undertone to it.

She couldn’t help but smile. “We both know what you want. You want to snog me again. So stop talking and just do it.” She said as she was teasing him but knowing Potter, and she did, she knew he would either a, take her up on her offer or b, leave. "As far as how I’m acting, I know it might actually come as a shock to you, but I actually do have fun once in a while....when the time comes for it, and in the right company.”

She was teasing him a bit now.

Normally in almost any situation, the words coming out of her mouth would have been anything but. But she had enjoyed their meeting so far and she wanted to keep it happy. No reason to let some stupid idea on his part ruin their fun. Snogging him hadn’t been half bad either. She put her hand on top of his, trying to get him to move closer to her so she wouldn’t have to do all the work. She didn’t know why but for some reason she wanted to be closer to him, to at least keep the interraction as friendly as possible, as she did not feel the need to hex him. She had lost her mind if she was actually trying to get him to kiss her. It seemed almost unreal.

“It’s up to you where we go from here.”

She smirked as she looked at him as she wanted nothing more than to figure out what was going to happen. She did not want to put herself in a situation she could not get out of. But Ferrret had to bloody well start something and now she had to finish it. Finish this one way or another.

She knew he deserved to know the truth, and she wasn’t sure how to tell him. She was doing something that was completely against her own rules. God she could just imagine Severus’ reaction should he see this. She never thought she’d be in this kind of situation, forced to be overly friendly with the one guy who had made her best friend’s life a complete nightmare.

She did not want to get hurt, that was part of the reason why she was so hesitant with James. Because she knew he could hurt her.

Things were good betweeen her and Severus and she couldn’t imagine what his reaction would be to what was happening between her and James. It was undeniable the chemistry between the two of them. It was also something she wanted to avoid but as she got closer to James she put a hand on his face. “Hey. Look at me. You and I may not know eachother very well yet, but I do know enough to know that something’s on your mind, something heavy. So talk to me.” She explained in a soft voice, she was trying harder than hell to be civil with him which for once was not all that difficult yet. “Please. Don’t shut me out. Not after what’s happened. If snogging me is that difficult for you, then perhaps it’s best if we end things like they are.” She said as she went and picked up her shirt and was about to put it back on. She held it in her left hand while approaching James once more. Looking him directly in the eyes, she leaned in and kissed him once, before taking a step back. She wanted him to make the choice himself. Of what he wanted, what he needed from her. Of course she didn’t know what she wanted herself so maybe they both needed time to think things through.

Without the added pressure of eachother’s company to do it. She knew she was at risk, for possibly falling for him and that was the last thing she needed. She took the oppertunity in the silence to put her shirt back on. Because it was clear that things weren’t going to continue how they were, and only James could change that. She still wasn’t leaving here, not without getting what it was she came for. She owed him that much to open up to him, even if it was harder than hell to do so. She was proud of course, but that was because of how she was raised. She was so lost and confused that she didn’t know what to do. She was trying to find her way to figure out what she, what they both needed from eachother. With her shirt back on she felt a little bit better, and she let her hand run through his hair.

Even if she did not want to admit it she did care about the guy. Otherwise she never would have done half of the things that she had done tonight. She didn't know what would happen the next time they saw eachother or how awkward it was all going to be. But for now, she wanted to enjoy the moment as best as she could. She was just grateful that Severus was not here to see it. At fifteen, love was a battlefield and she was not fully prepared to deal with it. Standing in front of him, she couldn't help but smile and waited to see if he would kiss her again. Part of her wanted him to.

She wanted him to take control.

[James Potter]

James felt Lily's hand on top of his and it was clear she was trying to get him to move. As it was, even leaning with his head resting against the table behind him his head was woozy and spinning. He knew he'd have to move soon, but he didn't want to move just yet. He had the feeling that if he tried he'd likely pass out or at least fall over and hit his head again.

“It’s up to you where we go from here.”

James managed to focus enough to look at her then. What did that mean? He seriously doubted that just like that overnight things had suddenly changed and she'd suddenly decided she didn't think the same of him. So it just didn't make sense how things were now... tonight... Why the sudden change? James was so lost in thought that he didn't realize that he hadn't even answered her.

Lily's hand touched his face and James sighed, leaning into it slightly. It was like another support for his aching head to steady him, except soft and warm, unlike the table behind him.

Something on his mind? That something on his mind was that he didn't know how to believe everything that was going on. "I really don't understand tonight..." He didn't expand on his answer. What could he say? He didn't know what part of tonight's events were currently confusing him more.

“Please. Don’t shut me out. Not after what’s happened. If snogging me is that difficult for you, then perhaps it’s best if we end things like they are.”

She moved away and her hand was gone from his face. He awkwardly held his head without the support of either the table or anything else. It was still spinning uneasily, but the pain seemed to be dimming ever so slightly compared to how it was before. "Lily..." He didn't know what to say, so just watched as she picked up her shirt and pulled it back on. She came back towards him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He reached up with one hand and let his fingers brush lightly against her hair as she moved away slightly again. Her fingers ran though his hair and he winced when they neared the bump on the back of his head. At the same time though, he took what comfort he could from the warm touch.

James sighed and moved himself so that he could try and stand, using the table behind him as a support to tug himself up. It took a bit of effort but eventually he was on his feet, though clinging to the table for support as consciousness threatened to leave him again. He could probably do with a trip to Madam Pomfrey for this, but seeing as it was after hours, he'd have one heck of a lot of explaining to do... Maybe he would have to wait till morning and then bullsh*t a story to her about... hitting his head on the nightstand... or something like that.

Right now though, James still didn't know what to do. It almost seemed like Lily wanted things to continue between them as they had been, but he still just couldn't understand what had caused this sudden change around... was it a spell? A potion? If all this was caused by something... something that wasn't her own doing then... well... If he did anything she'd probably hate him for it afterwards. Heck, she probably already would for what had already happened. He didn't need to anger her any more than he would have.

James sighed again and reached out, brushing Lily's hair back from her face with his fingers. "Lily, I..." He sighed and frowned. "How do I even word this? ... I just... I don't think you want this. Not really. I mean, I know you're saying it and everything, but I think there's something going on here. This isn't like you. Just a day or so ago you were saying how much you don't like me. I can't imagine that changing so quickly... It just doesn't make sense." He leaned in and pressed one soft, lingering kiss to her lips before moving away and letting his hand drop so they were no longer touching.

"I like you. A lot. And I know I've had a really sh*tty way of showing it in the past, but that's only because I didn't know any better of how to show you... I still don't. You wont believe me if I say it, and everything I do just seems to make you hate me more. I like you, Lily. Even if you don't want to see it. But I'm not doing this - whatever this is. Not here. Not now. Not if it's only going to make things worse."

With that, James looked away from her and towards the door, starting to make his way slowly in that direction, his head protesting against every movement he made. If his head wasn't feeling so battered he'd have been able to make a much better exit, but that wasn't really a possibility now. He kept hold of the desks and chairs as he started his way across the room.

He just hoped he wasn't making a big mistake here.

[lilyevans]

Things were changing and there was nothing she could do about it. Teenagers didn’t always know what the right thing to do was, and she was no different. Tonight was different in alot of ways, the two were actually getting along, for once, instead of wanting to hex eachother.

Though part of it was because of the fact she was playing a role. A role she hoped she was doing well in, and the fact that well he’d been knocked on his arse and had hit his head rather hard.

When James started to move, she got nervous, because she knew that she’d done quite a number on him and knew he’d need medical attention if he had hit himself that hard. Tonight had been a chance to see things in a different light and she was starting to. Although she did not love James, not in the way that he loved her, she was starting to see that he wasn’t all that well horrible, for a lack of a better word.

She just felt like she had to be there with him. Help him if that made any sense at all. When she had touched his face, he seemed to enjoy it, but of course, she was smiling. She had liked what she had seen of him tonight. She had seen a different side of him, and she had liked it, there were no words that could be said to define it. “I don’t...understand it completely either, but I know that everything that happened tonight, happened for a reason, whatever the reason is, I don’t know.” She smiled at him as she genuinely believed in what she was saying.

She knew it was an awkward situation to begin with, but she had to accept it as it was. When he called her name, she couldn’t help but turn to face him after she’d turned away after kissing him on her own. It had been the first thing she had done, willingly.

She had felt better with her shirt back on, but when he touched her face, the feeling of his hand in her hair, made her catch her breath. She cared about him, otherwise she wouldn’t still be there, running a hand through his hair or at least kissing him as willingly as she had. She had felt where he had the bump on the back of his head.

And she felt guilty because of it. Of course naturally when James started to move she became hesitant about it. Knowing she couldn’t very well leave him to his own devices like this. It wouldn’t be right, would it?

If it wasn’t after hours she’d have escourted him down to Madam Pomfrey’s herself. It wasn’t a spell, and it sure wasn’t a potion that was causing the events of tonight to be what they were.

However she wasn’t sure how things were supposed to be. She liked him, at least on a certain level right now, but not that she would ever fully cop to it, if asked. She did not hate him, never did, she just disliked most of what he had done in the past. And they both knew that things in the past between them had been anything but nice.

When James once again brushed her hair back from her face, she could feel his fingers close to her, and she sighed. She didn't know how she could say what she had to say other than to just say it. “James. I don’t know what it is I want and I don’t think you do either.” She stated when he started off, of course she had no idea where he was going to go with this.

“Of course you would, seeing as this wasn’t a plan of yours. Or was it?” She did not bother to mention the fact part of it had been his idea. Whether he’d said it or not. “It’s not about liking you, or not liking you for that matter. You’ve just answered some questions that needed answered, is that too hard to grasp?” Before she could say anything else he had leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips and she wanted to keep it going but didn’t.

“I know that. It’s been hard not to notice it given how often you try to get my attention. And don’t think for one second that I haven’t paid attention to it, because I have, I just don’t always acknowledge it."

She said as she walked forward, she wanted to at least show him she wasn't out to hurt him, not like she normally would have. It was just difficult to say what she needed to.

She took a deep breath, her tone was shaky a little, mostly because she was a little nervous about the whole situation. Especially as she was about to admit that she didn't exactly hate the guy. When for as long as the two of them had known eachother, it might have appeared that way, because that was her best method of defense.

"Look, this isn’t easy for me. I just after everything I’ve had to see, deal with since I first entered the castle, it seems like everything I have ever known is unraveling and I don’t know how to deal with that. With everything I’ve been through, with my best friend, with....you, everything is just it’s not what I expected it to be." She sighed as she looked into his eyes, letting her gaze linger for a moment before she looked down momentarily.

She softened her tone, as she looked down at the floor, though her tone was still loud enough to be heard by him, it wasn't like anyone outside of the room could hear what she had to say. "I don’t hate you, James. I never did. I’ll admit, I don’t like what you do. The pranks, and the constant bullying you have put Severus through, doesn’t matter if the guy deserved it or not. Which to me, he doesn’t. I’ve defended him, every day since we were kids...before Hogwarts and it’s....hard to imagine not doing so. But that's not the point."

She was a bit hesitant before speaking but she knew she had to, especially given if she didn't questions would be lingering and not always the good ones. Dating and the idea of it, was foreign to her. Just like pranks were.

She walked toward him, or rather right behind him as she wasn’t about to let him get out the door before making sure he was alright.

The last thing she wanted was for something bad to happen because she had been the one to hex him even if she'd had no other choice, not that she'd tell him or anyone else that.

"What I mean is-is that you and I, we never talked. Usually our wands were drawn and....given the circumstances we’ve always been on opposite sides of discussions instead of on the same side, about anything. I-I know how you feel about me, James. I always have. But-But this whole thing is different for me. Difficult you might say. I don’t even know what you might want to call this because neither one of us were prepared for it. All I know is that for what it’s worth it wasn’t all that bad....us kissing that is. But I think right now neither one of us are in a place where we should be........making choices. I know you want me to be with you, at least that's what I got out of tonight. But I'm not in a place where dating anyone is a good idea. Especially with someone that I am not even friends with. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like to get to know certain individuals better, you know?"

She finished stating where she stood and then looked genuinely concerned when he started for the door which would be their exit.

"You’re hurt, you at least should be escourted up to the tower. I can’t very well let you go wandering off and risk something happening. As a Prefect that is, I can’t do that. Let me at least make sure you get up to the common room alright.” When she finally got closed to him, she grabbed his hand. "Trust me. Please. I'm not going to let you fall."