Kiss It Better (Remus) - COMPLETE

[talls]

Ferret walked slowly down to the hospital wing, holding some flowers in one hand and the wolf stuffy she made for Remus and the ferret stuffy he had made for her. The flowers were a collection of daisies, charmed to fade into different colors.

It was the night after the full moon. Ferret had promised Remus that she would visit him after but if he still wanted her there was a whole nother story.

She was ashamed. Ashamed of what she almost did a few days ago. She had promised. She had promised to take their relationship slow and she nearly gave into her temptation. She felt descusting. She wasn't sure he would even look at her. So she decided this. If he never wanted to see her again, never wanted to touch her or be near her again, she would respect his wishes and leave.

As much as it would break her heart.

Entering the hospital wing, Ferret went towards the room Remus had mentioned. The door was slightly open. Knocking gently, she peaked inside.

"Remus? Um...you in here?"

[remuslupin]

Remus lay in silence in his private room in the Hospital Wing, every slight movement he made setting of a chorus of groaning complaints from his abused muscles. And then there was the stinging pain of sheets and clothes brushing against the latest open wounds, and the dull roar of pain in his three broken toes. Last night's moon had been, as he'd predicted, a tremendously brutal one.

But Remus hardly noticed the physical pain, too wrapped up in loathing and fear and self-hatred at how he'd behaved; at what Moony had nearly done to Ferret. She'd agreed to wait, said she wanted to wait, and how had he betrayed her. By letting his animal side come out and nearly pressure her into having sex when clearly she hadn't felt comfortable or wanted to do so.

Once he'd woken up, Remus had thanked Merlin that William had interrupted, and had written the younger boy an Owl of apology, though one that made it quite clear that the threatened silence was still to be maintained. Remus may have regretted the means, but he thought Moony was quite right in acting to preserve the dignity and reputation of his girlfriend.

Though whether Ferret would still wanted to be his girlfriend, Remus wasn't sure. Whether she would feel safe around him, whether she would be able to bear the sight of him and whether she would want to never see him again in her life; they were all looking like fairly likely possibilities from where Remus was lying, given the way that he'd wronged her.

He'd had Madam Pomfrey remove the other Marauders from the visiting list and given her a note to pass on to them; he wanted to be alone right now, and the kindly matron had done her best to honor that desire. There was only one person he wanted to see, only one person still on the list of people he was willing to have allowed in, and she was the one person Remus most feared facing and who he thought was least likely to come and visit.

And yet there she was; her scent wafting gently into the room as she peeked around the corner and greeted him hesitantly. Remus smiled wanly at Ferret, his heart breaking at the sadness and regret in her scent - feelings that he knew were there because of him. "I'm here. You can come in if you'd like - don't worry, I won't bite."

[talls]

Ferret smiled gently. He didn't seem angry. He wasn't glaring at her or telling her to leave. He was smiling at her, a sad smile but a smile.

"I'm not worried I promise."

She walked into the room, holding the flowers out to him. "These are for you," she said, taking a seat in the chair near him bed. She pulled out her wand and conjured a vase and placed the flowers in them. "And I brought these." She placed the knitted wolf and ferret next to him but careful not to touch him; he looked so sore.

Waving her wand again, she animated the stuffies. They moved more stiffly than if Remus had done the spell, but it was still cute to watch them play with each other.

"I thought they might make you smile," Ferret muttered with a soft blush and smile. She reached to tuck her hair behind her ear but stopped herself. She didn't want him to think she was teasing him, making him more angry than she was sure he already was.

How did you apologize for something like this? She didn't know. She didn't really understand how she could make it up to him. How could he even look at her? So kindly.

Ferret pressed her face against the blankets of his bed, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall. "Remus, I am so sorry. Please. Please forgive me."

[remuslupin]

As Ferret responded to his joke by attempting to reassure him, Remus smelt fear on the air and hid a frown. Despite what she was saying, it seemed she was afraid of him now that she'd met Moony. He knew he should have taken precautions to keep her away from his less disciplined side, but he'd failed to anticipate how his alter-ego would behave and how much damage it would do to his relationship with Ferret.

As she offered him the flowers and placed the animated stuffies next to him, Remus felt the pricking of impending tears at her generosity and kindness. Even after he'd almost - he couldn't even bring himself to think the word - her, she still had enough compassion and honor to keep her promise and come visit him. Idly he wondered if she was still going to kiss him better then shut that thought down, disgusted with himself. It was that kind of thinking that had probably cost him her - dare he say it, love - in the first place.

His heart twinged painfully as he noticed how studiously she was avoiding physical contact. She was a tactile person - he knew that from experience - especially around him, and the sudden absence of that touch told him everything he'd feared about what she thought of him after his actions yesterday. He hadn't realized how much it would hurt and how much he'd miss it, the fact that her first action on seeing him wasn't a hug or a kiss anymore.

Physical affection had been a rare thing to him, close as he had been only to frightened parents and fairly non-demonstrative male friends, and her willingness to touch him without fear or hesitation had gone a long way towards curing his lifelong habit of self-isolation.

But then Ferret buried her face in his blankets and started muttering muffled apologies, smelling of sadness so intense Remus could almost taste the salt tang of tears, and Remus fought against the physical need to lean in and touch and comfort her, knowing that his touch was the last thing she needed or wanted, now or ever again.

"What's this, little Ferret?" The term of endearment had become so natural that it came without even thinking about it, "What's wrong? You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who pushed you. I'm the one who pressured you. You told me we had to stop and I took advantage of you and nearly-" He cut himself off, unable to say the word, his voice soft and choked with self-loathing.

[talls]

Ferret looked up when he spoke to her. There was no anger, at least not at her. At himself. He wasn't angry at her. He was angry at himself. She gently placed her hand on his, squeezing it gently.

"But I wanted to," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I could have easily left. I could have easily just left the room. But I didn't. I stayed and I teased you. That wasn't fair of me. I wanted you to do it, even though I promised to take it slow."

Ferret gently lifted his hand and pressed it against her cheek, nuzzling it gently. He could easily pull it away if he so wished. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing. If I had just left...Oh Remus, I am so sorry. Please. Please forgive me."

She didn't want him to be angry at her. Or himself. She wanted to hold him and kiss him and be near him. But how could he trust her now? How could he trust her to be good and not try to tease and taunt him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she shut her eyes tightly. Her face went a bit paler, hair loosing luster.

And she prayed he would forgive her and give her another chance.

[remuslupin]

Remus felt a rush of joy as she took his hand and squeezed it, realizing that maybe she wasn't afraid of touching him after all. And then she started to try, and Remus' heart ached at what Moony had done to her, what he had done to her. But then she started to speak, and Remus realized how wrong he'd been about everything as she apologized for their encounter the other day. An encounter he'd instigated, which she yet somehow thought was her fault.

As Ferret nuzzled into his hand, Remus sighed in relief and gave a happy smile, seeing her coloration begin to fade in distress and pulling her into his arms. Hugging her tightly, Remus buried his face in the side of her neck and basked in the joy of holding her close again. Silly Ferret." He chuckled, flicking the end of her nose and then planting a kiss there.

"I'm not angry, and you have nothing to be sorry for because you did nothing wrong. If anything I'm extraordinarily flattered that you're attracted enough to me that you wanted to do..." Remus blushed and waved his hand in a vague circle, "More." He chuckled softly and grinned embarrassedly. "And I kind of like it when you tease me, so please - forgive yourself. Forgive me?

[talls]

He didn't hate her. He wasn't angry with her. He still wanted to hold her and kiss her and be with her. He said he liked it when she teased him. She made a small mental note for the future.

"There is nothing to forgive Remus,"she whispered. Wiping her eyes and stood and moved from the chair to the edge of his bed. The stuffies jumped but moved to the other side as she moved to lay beside him. Very gently, she laid her head on his shoulder, pressing her nose gently to where his neck met his shoulder, taking in his scent. Merlin, she had missed it.

Ferret kissed his neck once, sweetly and gently, barely there. Leaning up slowly, she placed her lips ever so gently on his, fresh tears or relief and joy running down her cheeks.

"Forgive me Remus..."

[remuslupin]

Remus smiled and felt a warm glow of happiness suffuse him as Ferret forgave him, his good mood and the pleasure of her company almost making him forget about all the aches and pains from the latest full moon. He snuggled carefully into her as she lay down beside him, careful to avoid aggravating his injuries but wanting to be as close to her as possible. He felt a shiver of joy as she planted a soft kiss on his neck and then she kissed him, softly, gently and he tasted the salt of tears.

Pulling away, Remus reached up and caressed her cheek, wiping away the tears and smiling at her. "Don't cry, little Ferret. We're okay. Everything's okay." Curling in towards her, Remus wrapped his arms around Ferret and kissed along the tracks that the tears had left on her face before planting a gentle but passionate kiss on her lips.

"I won't forgive you - because you did nothing wrong. You say you should have left?" Remus smiled softly, "You stayed because you care about me. You teased me?" He gave a quiet chuckle, "I'm pretty sure I teased you too, and its not like you never intended on following through." Remus blushed suddenly and averted his eyes, "Not that I'm presuming that you want to- I don't mean to assume you're attracted to-" He took a deep breath and calmed down. "And the fact you wanted me to do it? How could I possibly be angry about that."

Remus placed another soft kiss upon Ferret's lips. "There is nothing to forgive. But if you need it, then you have my forgiveness anyway. You would have had it the moment you came to visit me despite how I treated you."

[talls]

Ferret let out a soft sob of happiness. He wanted to be near her. He forgave her. They were okay. He was wrapping his arms around her and holding her. Wiping away her tears and kissing her with the gentle passion she loved.

She smiled at him, nuzzling his neck. "Who said I never intended to follow through?" she asked. "The same person who said I wasn't attracted to you?" She giggled softly.

He kissed her again, and her heart soared. He gave her his forgiveness, thought he claimed she did not need it. She did need it. She needed to know that he still cared for her.

And yet, he did not forgive himself

She whispered his name, her eyes closing peacefully. "Remus, I will only take your forgiveness if you forgive yourself. I'm not angry at you."

[remuslupin]

Remus blushed furiously as Ferret giggled into the surface of his neck. He'd been fairly sure after conversations they'd had and her reaction to Moony's actions that she was as attracted to him as he was to her, and that she wasn't just teasing him, but he hadn't wanted to presume. "No one said anything. A gentleman just never presumes upon his stunning girlfriend's intentions."

The confirmation of his suspicions was something else entirely, as suddenly the thought of sex changed from an abstract fantasy to a possible reality. Remus knew that with Ferret lying against him he would have been rock-hard if it hadn't been for the lingering pain of his injuries, and even so he felt his boxers start to become uncomfortably tight as his mind couldn't help but flash back to the picture Ferret had made sprawled out on his bed looking thoroughly ravished.

As Ferrret closed her eyes, snuggling into him and whispering into his ear, Remus knew that if anyone had been looking in on him he would have been smiling like a dope. There was a gentle smile on his lips as he leant over and gave Ferret another brief kiss. "I know you're not angry at me. I just-" He sighed, "That wasn't me. I don't seduce women, I don't dominate women, I don't act like I did the other day. I feel bad that you had to see that and that I behaved like that towards you when I know you deserve to be treated better."

Remus smiled and chuckled. "But I don't want to be hit, so I'll leave it there. You're not angry at me, I'm not angry at you and we forgive each other."

[talls]

Ferret snorted in disbelief. "Stunning right..." As much as she wanted to believe him, she couldn't. She had taken the form of so many attractive people, both on accident and on purpose. She was not as beautiful as they so she must be plain.

In fact, she was sure of it.

Ferret looked up at him, kissing him gently. "I know Remus, but, honestly, I didn't mind." She blushed. "You know I have been in...lots of relationships. But never once had I been dominated. It was exciting and sexy and..." She blushed more before she continued.

"Do I mind sweet, slow and wonderful? Not at all; I love it. But that doesn't mean I reject the domination, being seduced and dominated by you." She kissed him again. "Just the idea of being with you makes me excited, and happy, and feeling wonderful..."

[remuslupin]

"Hey..." Remus grabbed Ferret's chin softly and tilted it so she was looking straight into his eyes. "You are stunning. You are gorgeous. You are," He blushed, "Incredibly sexy and you are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out." His eyes radiated sincerity as he did his best to show her his feelings for her and how incredible her found her. "Alright?" He pulled her into a passion-filled kiss, trying to show her how much her forgiveness meant to him and how much he liked her.

As Ferret started blushing and stammering, Remus flushed a furious red in sympathy. He tried so hard to bury the parts of him that were influenced by the wolf - his 'alpha-male' - that he'd gotten used to thinking of them as something negative and undesirable. The shyness and gentleness wasn't an act - that was the core of who Remus was, but there were assertive and dominant aspects of his nature that he normally tended to censor.

To be honest, being with Ferret and especially being intimate with her were at the top of the list of things that provoked those instincts, and if she was telling him that he didn't need to try so hard to hold them back, well then he wasn't going to. And hearing that she quite liked being dominated, as well as his gentler sides? As she leaned in and kissed him, Remus gave a wolfish grin and took control of the kiss, rolling them over so he was laying on top of her as he ravaged her mouth. Breaking away from the kiss, he grinned cheekily. "Like that?"

[talls]

Though his voice was sincere, she could not make herself agree with him. But when he kissed her, she felt herself floating on air.

She may not be beautiful, but she was so happy. Happier than those people she turned into. That much she was sure.

As she leaned in to kiss him again, she was surprised, but not unpleased, to have Remus take control. She moaned softly and wrapped her arms around him as he ravished her mouth, turning them so she was beneath him. As he pulled away, she panted lightly, her cheeks flushed.

"Yeah..." she panted, blushing and smiling. "Like that..."

[remuslupin]

As Ferret blushed beneath him and Remus smelled the slightest hint of arousal in the air, he realized that she really had been telling the truth. His more dominant side really did attract her just as much as his gentler one. Smiling and noting that down to remember in future, Remus leaned in again to continue the bruising kiss, grinding slightly against her where she lay beneath him to check her reaction.

That was when the prickling buzz that marked the aftermath of the full moon's affect finally finished fading away as it had been threatening to do all morning, and his werewolf healing kicked in with a vengeance. Remus bit back a scream as the pieces of his broken toes shifted and ground against each other, bone knitting back together at an agonizing speed.

Rolling off Ferret, Remus bit down on his lip so hard he drew blood as he struggled not to cry out with the pain of his body being forced to heal at a brutally accelerated rate.

[talls]

Ferret moaned as Remus kissed her once more. A shiver ran down her spine and back up again as he began to grind into her. Her moans grew in volume, her back arching towards him.

But her eyes shot open as Remus held back his scream. Sitting up as he rolled off her, Ferret watched with wide eyes as the boy bit his lip to bleeding point.

"Remus!" Ferret moved to as she would to straddle his hips, only she kept her body off his, using her legs to support her. Leaning over, she gently cupped his face in her hands, stroking his cheeks gently with her thumbs. Leaning down, she kissed him, trying to have him ease the pressure on this bleeding lip. She hated the taste of blood but endured it for him.

Her lips moved over his face, kissing him gently, muttering his name and telling him to relax, that it would all be over soon. That she was not going anywhere.